Proud Kikuyu Woman

Ni Kuhama, Baby!

2011-05-31T11:58:00.000+03:00

I've been so lost! Life took over. Life is good, thank Ngai.

Bado niko na Safaricom, thanks to M-Pesa. Safaricom-Airtel is not the kuhama I'm talking about.

Just a quick note to let you all know that I'm now living in Nairobi. Sort of. I actually live in a county in Central Province, but if I can take a matatu to the city centre for between Ksh 40-60, I can call myself a Nairobian, right? Some people actually live in the Rift Valley Province (Kitengela et al) and call themselves Nairobians, too, so I can get away with my living-in-Nairobi claim.

Anyway, I will be back with details baadaye, in the coming month(s). Hopefully with more great news on top of what I already plan to share. In the meantime, I will keep you up with some storos from .KE and/or .UG. If I get the time :-)

Cheers,

Masa wa Nairobi.

Ruracio

2011-02-18T15:13:00.000+03:00

Our office was closed Thursday and Friday to allow people to travel to travel if need be, and practice their democratic right to vote. I came to be with The Man. If you ask me, I think or rather feel like the process will be peaceful, and M7 will win. Or ‘win’. In keeping with my decision not to do politics, I won’t elaborate. Of late though, I’ve felt like putting in my two cents regarding local politics, the broke gova that used USD 350m for the campaign, and the Uganda shilling that has depreciated more than 45% against the dollar since I’ve been here. Because? I pay taxes; 30% PAYE, 18% VAT on every item I buy in supermarkets (which is already about 15% more expensive that it would be in a Nairobi/Kenyan supermarket), and UGX 100,000 each year in infrastructure tax- the potholes in my hood were filled with soil and a thin layer of tarmac in the recent months. The National Social Security Fund requires that I contribute 5% of my gross salo to the fund, though to their credit, my employer matches that with 10% of my gross. So the rate of return on my savings is encouraging. I just hope won’t NSSF have gone burst by the time I leave or need the money.

Most of my Kenyan friends are either out of UG or have bought food to last them a couple weeks, ensured there is enough cooking gas, water, the cars tanks are full and generally done the kind of things you would have done if you were in Nairobi or some parts of Kenya in early 2008. I can’t blame us. I however think the dynamics are different in UG compared to Kenya in the sense that the two main contenders are from the same region, or largely, community though one is more liked by the Buganda Kingdom constituents than the other. Said Kingdom has 3 candidates in the race.
This was not meant to be a siasa post, as is the blog. In my personal life, things are going well. Last week I went to have my ruracio (that’s dowry) event dress made.

The ruracio is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I just finished informing my close cousins. It’s not a huge event since this is only the first, and sometimes it takes decades before you truly belong to the other family through an event (for lack of a better term) called ‘gutinia kiande’. Nothing has changed regarding the wedding. We are going to have a traditional marriage and then a civil deal to make sure we are both on equal standing regarding our rights in the marriage in the eyes of the state. The Man still thinks we should have a church wedding down the line, but as far as I am concerned, either the Christian and Civil marriage offer me the same rights, so there is no need for the other if one has taken place. At the same time, The Man thinks it is important to have a church wedding when we have the budget. In which case then, I feel like we should just let it remain a customary marriage till we have the church event. My parents are busy doing what they need to do to ensure that The Man marries me in proper Kikuyu customs. I’m excited about it. I was considering asking my mother to tell my father to ask the men who will be negotiating on behalf of our family to not have any fancy ideas of ripping of The Man and his family. But then my friends think if I chose the traditional route, I may as well go all the way and let things take their natural path. I even asked the man if it’s a good idea and he thought otherwise. He should know- as the only male child in his family, he has taken an important role in selling off a few of his sisters. This year has a lot of good things in store for us.

The dress: I went with a Kinyankore design. Why? Because the Kikuyu dresses I’ve seen don’t look appealing to me. I could have had the brown dress with beads and shells that I think of as the Kikuyu cultural dress, or a Maasai design in recognition of the fact that my grandmother came from there, but I didn’t have the time to get that done when I was home (Yes, even me, I have Maasai blood!). I also happen to like how Banyankore women look on their Kuhingira (the traditional marriage rite, they call it the give-away ceremony in English), with the beads on the head, cute earrings, and beaded gloves, and I decided to go with the look. Interestingly, the material I chose is closer to the Indian sari than anything. If anything, is there cloth that we can call Kikuyu or even African wear? In my opinion, no, just the style. When the tailor lady was taking my measurements, she was talking to me in Runyankore, because my colleague who took me there is Munyankore. She looked really good on her Kuhingira event, so I requested her to take me to her fundi. The fundi later learned that I’m Kenyan and Kikuyu and was asking me what our traditional dress is. I told her we don’t have one. When she asked what my ancestors used to wear, I told her animal skins. She laughed. In the small talk that ensued, she asked how many maids I will have for the event and when I said none, just two of my close friends and relatives, she looked astonished-because there was another lady whose Kuhingira attire she is making, who has 12 maids for the Kuhingira alone. Which will be followed by a church wedding with a different set of maids. I feel like most people in Uganda have two weddings-the traditional one, and the church one, sometimes held in consecutive days. Or maybe two large events. Which kinda explains all the mass text messages in November and December from friends and strangers alike: so-and-so invites you to her wedding/kwanjula/kuhingira meeting taking place on…….Last year I got one of those from a guy who helped move house with his truck when he was having his introduction ceremony in Busoga (community that lives between Bugisu in the East and Buganda in Central Uganda, around Jinja, just before you cross the Nile into Buganda). I think he sent the texts to everyone on his phonebook. I kinda just ignored them, but we later bumped into each other in a restaurant in Jinja, where he handed me my invitation letter and the budget. I asked a Muganda fiend why they have two large events, and he explained that usually, the church even is more inclusive when it comes to the grooms side.

That’s it for now. I need to be at work on Monday, but I’m thinking of chilling and watching for people’s reaction when results are announced on Sunday.

Salamu za Mwaka Mpya na Updates

2011-01-07T14:48:00.000+03:00

The year is still effectively new for me since I haven't blogged since October 2010 so pokeeni salamu za mwaka mpya from huku kwa PKW . I've been contemplating closing this blog or making a quiet exit since now my life involves other people, and I'm not sure I can write about them the same way I write about me. I can't be an 'issues' blogger so it's either me and my life, or nothing. There are still interesting things to say, so hopefully I will be around much longer. I feel too 'young' to retire, though other bloggers, some who started blogging as recently as last year, have chosen to 'retire' their blogs. I think in blog-speak, retiring a blog is a nice way of saying you have quit, like the politicians 'stepping aside' all over the place. But the advantage of being a politician is (I think?) you keep collecting a full paycheck from that place called aside where you step. Sorta like being at advanced stage in Monopoly the game, and getting a 'go to jail' card that allows you to stay in jail, therefore not pay any rent, and collect rent on all your properties. Not a bad place to be at that point, eh?

The rest of 2010-since I blogged, that is- went well for me, and so were the holidays. They were very, very good. I got to spend time with the almost everyone in Man's family (that I hadn't met earlier) and thought they are awesome. For some reason I earlier thought that being the only male child among five siblings meant I wouldn't be as welcome by the rest; I was wrong. He also spent some short time with mine and we both thought it went well.

I don't do new year resolutions because for me the new year is just a way of marking time, with nothing markedly different from the previous day/year. Except maybe the mood and an excuse to indulge, slaughter another animal and such. My goals are all over the place in terms of when they are set. Some things I purpose on when I get an idea, or when something happens in this life of mine or another's life. Some start at my birthday. I remember purposing sometime towards the end of last year to have an attitude of gratitude, and to be nice to people. I'm not some mean woman, but I also want to be purposefully nice. On two occasions last year I told some two people off. One was apologetic for upsetting me, and the other relationship has remained hivi hivi since. I don't feel guilty because I felt I had a 'right' to be mad, and it's nice when this person doesn't get me down with their negative comments/opinions all the time any more.

My decision to be nice got a test on New Years day, and it (not it is 'it' not 'I' :-) kinda failed so am glad it wasn't a New Year's resolution. The Man and I could not get a Mololine or Prestige shuttle maatu from Nakuru to Nairobi late in the evening on Jan 1st, yet we absolutely had to travel since we again had to travel back to our respective places of work from Nairobi the following day. So we decided to use the regular Moloine matatus. But the place was parked with people and no matatu in sight. One came by and people struggled to get inside, and I imagined they had purchased their tickets earlier. The Man went to get our tickets, but the attendants were not selling any, or saying anything. So we decide he goes and checks out akina 2NK matatus and others, while I waited at Mololine in case another matatu came, when I could then force my way in and hold a seat for him. Then this mama decides to ask me a few questions about Mololine, and initially I respond nicely. Like this: Woman:"So there are no tickets?" PKW, "I think so, we couldn't get some either" Woman, "You get one and wait for a matatu?" PKW, "Usually that's what they do during peak time like today, but it seems they are not offering any today" Woman, "So the matatus are all gone?" PKW, "I don't know, I don't work here". Oh well.

Besides being nice, I want be real with people more often, instead of say, diplomatically lying to them when I want to say something that's not too agreeable or nice to their ears. I'm not sure how being real and being nice will mix in some situations, but mix they will have to. Take for instance this friend of mine with whom I used to make plans with, but who never followed any of the plans up with, or at least tell me in advance that she wouldn't be there. Only when I later saw her the following week and ask would she explain what happened/ why she couldn't make it. This person has the audacity to think she could call on me one day to do her a favor pap!. She calls me out of the blues after ignoring several of SMSs, facebook messages etc, and tells me to do her a favour that involves staying up past midnight. I think "No way", but then I have the burden of finding out a way to precisely that, including lying, and that's what I do in the end. I hate feeling used, and usually don't let people do that to me. Then there is a mama that I hosted for a few days to a week when she was here shopping for merchandise to go and sell in Kenya. Juzi she calls me and indicates that she wants me to go shopping for her (have you been near Owino market?) and send stuff on the bus. Clearly, there's no lying around this one; I'll just tell her I can't, but she's welcome to stay at my place again as long as she needs to.

What else- I still don't have a car but I think I should be getting one maybe by early Feb or later, pending something I am waiting on. The funniest thing is that I remember telling a friend 10 years ago that I'd get a car in 10 years. Because back then it looked impossible, so I gave myself what I thought was reasonable time. I wonder what would have happened if I said I'd get one in a year's time? Banange, they used to tell us to watch what we say because it happens, and this the second instance it's happening for me.

As for this year, within the bigger picture, there are two specific things that are close to my heart that I really am praying to God (besides doing my/our bit, that is. Prayer is the least you can do!) that they work out ASAP, though logically, one is not even supposed to work out till later in the year, like after August, but it needs to work out even sooner, like today. I trust that they, among the other things, will work out fine. But if they don't, I will be grateful for the situations as they are now, knowing full well that I prayed for them to be this way. It's all about gratitude, remember? Still, it's funny how yesterday's answered prayer is today's situation that needs prayer. Guess it's meant to be that way, otherwise, how are we meant to mark progress?

There's a lot of exciting things in store for me this year, and for that I'm very grateful. I wish you my readers the very best for this year and beyond. May God, if you believe in Him/Her/It smile on you. I think there's a big 'movement' out there that believes the Universe is the one that does stuff so if that's your chosen path to the higher powers, may you get the best that the Universe has to offer. No offense but personally I think the Universe was created and is at the mercy of the creator (and we humans), who in English is known as God and by many other names in different languages, religions and faiths. As for you who believe in no outer powers, work hard, be strong and trust that things will work out just as you want them to ( I do, too!).

Nawatakia mwaka mpya uliojawa na heri na fanaka.

PS: Maua, I saw the tag, but gosh, don't I hate tags? Besides the hot scrap award where I talked about myself, I really don't want to talk about myself any more than you will read here. Sio kwa ubaya lakini, tumeelewana?

FATTY ISSUE

2010-10-28T16:21:00.000+03:00

I have a confession to make, and it may leave you slightly disgusted. Read on, if you have the guts. I will be kind of rumbling. It’s about ‘fatties’.

Some background: my sister and I were talking on the phone last week and as usual I asked her about ‘my daughter’ i.e. my niece. After the regular updates, she told me that I seem to have given my niece the idea that fat people are not good-looking. I was a little surprised, even shocked. I actually have no idea when I ever did this. I guess I may have talked about how I don’t want to gain weight in her presence and all, having gained 4-5 kgs (and probably growing-matooke on the regular, but more importantly an increased intake of sausage and milk) since landing here about 2 years ago. Some of the weight gain for good reason. And it’s not like I mind it that much, though I won’t lie and say I would want it to go unchecked. I think some of her ‘learning’ may have come from hearing me and my mum comment about weight, me saying I don’t want to be ‘fat’. To which my mum’s (and sister’s) response is almost always ,”wi mukiigu muno!” (you’re very stupid!). Maybe it even stemmed from some comment I made while watching some sports updates at some point and commented on the sports-reporters size and how it was ‘inappropriate’ for his profession. Like, a sports-reporter should look ‘sporty’, not fat. I don’t know. But am surprised that a 5-year old is able to listen to odd statements and come to a conclusion. And start making comments which would be considered offensive when she sees ‘fat’ people. Fat people, in my opinion, are not even that common in Kenya, our main problem being, well, food security. Except maybe in middle-class urban people who I understand are starting to be affected by ‘lifestyle diseases’.

Recently there was an article on Marie Claire where the writer expressed disgust for ‘fatties’ . The article resulted in an uproar on the internet, with people writing tens of thousands of emails to Marie Claire, some calling for the author's firing. I found this paragraph particularly disturbing: “So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.” I thought it was a little harsh, even misplaced given the fact that I think majority of women in America are large. And that’s self-desribed “...publication that women turn to for information on fashion, style, beauty, women's issues, careers, health...”. Way to inform the women, eh?

The article got me thinking about my own weight biases. While maybe 4-5 years ago I would rarely notice, let alone care that someone was overweight, perhaps due to my rural upbringing, something seems to have happened, and I kinda notice, though I don’t dwell much on it and have never commented on someone’s weight to them or to someone else. I’ve mentioned my own weight gain on twitter, facebook and blogger often. So much so that when Kellie and I met me in September, she said that she was expecting to see a ‘larger person’. I must have been exaggerating. I think any large person or one who has been or is concerned about their own weight would consider it mockery to talk about my weight often, considering that I’m 55kgs, well close to 56 now. So what am I thinking? That I don’t know what it means to struggle with weight I shouldn’t be too judgemental. The term 'Eating Disorders' is something I learned in my Physical Education class in campus, and I must confess I found all the eating disorders ‘funny’ at the time. As in how you refuse to eat? Eat, then puke???. That it’s easy to blame fat people for their weight issues, or even make it sound like there’s a quick fix to weight matters, like diet and exercise. Especialy when I have never tried the former and can’t myself be disciplined enough to practice the latter regularly (remember my skipping rope? It’s been unused for like 2 months, and I haven’t ran/exercised much in as in as long a time). More importantly, that weight is itself a ‘diversity’ matter much like sex/gender/sexual orientation, race, religion tribe, age, name them. And of course, my favourite, marital status. Am learning that you can be as sizist as any other bigot can be tribalist, racist, agist, and in my opinion, maritalist. How, for instance, would you feel if someone said that they find it disgusting to watch people with too much melanin (black people) walk across a room or a street, or do anything at all? Or two a Luhya and a Kamba? Trust me, we would be having a different discussion, possibly with a lawsuit to boot (in America that is!)

Much as I believe that it is within my power to be slimmer if I want to be, I know it’s not the same for many other people. I once had a room-mate who was kind of large, and believe you me, I ate more than she did. She had been above-average size-wise since she was young. I think also that ‘thin’, single, non-parent people should always consider the possibility of having larger kids and think how they would treat them.

What’s your take on this weighty issue? Will you complain next time you are on a 12-hour busride next to someone taking like a third of your space?

I found some fat people out there with blogs that I found interesting. I didn’t even know you could be wrecking mental havoc on someone by regularly talking about your diet. There’s Unapologetically Fat, The Rotund, and Fatties United! Fatties United! tend to bring a bit of humour in their take on fat, like this blog post here. Take a read.

That said, fat people should also be sensitive when talking weight with thin people. It's rude to indicate that someone has an eating disorder simply because they are thin.

This and That, Mostly Biashara Nyeti

2010-10-03T11:30:00.000+03:00

I haven't been to Church in a while but today I caught Rauka on TV. I think it was an OK, TV-friendly sermon. I kinda felt that as much as I believe what the pastor said, anyone could say that, work up a crowd like that, no? Am finding that I want stuff that I can relate to or that is specific, not a 'cookie cutter' sermon. Plus, I don't understand why you need a mini-sermon before people give their offering, and then repeat the same thing in a subtle way in the main sermon. If anything, the Bible says! Give what you have decided in your heart, but not under coercion...or something like that. I'll look for the verse. Overall, if you have the charisma and patience, I think a church is not a bad investment in the long term-just avoid scandals.

Jana we had stuff to attend to on Entebbe road, got a ride there with a friend, then me and the other friend took a matatu (aka taxi) back to town, getting off near the Old Taxi Park. Said friend was going back to work and so I said "Sawa, bye. Am going to look for hair". After the 'shocked' look on his face cleared, I explained that I was indeed going to look for a weave. He said some stuff about women and hair..... his wife/girlfriend is rocking a reddish-hair weave, so am sure he knows these things. Anyway! I walked into Mukwano Arcade and asked for an Afro-looking weave and settled on one that was 100% human hair-apparently. While we were negotiating, an older woman came by and said she wanted the same. Turned out that was the only one available, and out of 'respect', they attendant decided to sell it to "our mummy" while I waited for mine from the next shop. I was pissed and told the attendant as much when the lady had left. That was discrimation right there, though I didn't say as much. Do you know that I've once been at an interrview where one person in the panel asked me about my marital status, because it would help them in their renumeration decision? Anyway (never mind how many times I say Anyway, it's a Kenyan English adjunct) by 5pm, I'd come back to my hood and the 100% human hair fixed on my head. For the second time in my life I had a weave on. Only that I thought I looked like Kajairo's twin, so today am removing it.

Of late if you've been reading/watching news, seems people have given the East African Community idea a whole new meaning. What with this business of stealing kids from TZ and bringing them to Kampala, for whatever reasons? That was in The East African newspaper a few weeks ago. And the couple that was putting disabled Tanzanian kids on the streets of Nairobi at dusk to beg the whole day and bring back the loot late at night? What about the other jamaa who I guess got an order for albino bones in TZ but instead got a live specimen, so decided to befriend an albino guy, and take him to TZ by bus? The killer story is the one involving (Kikuyu, who else, ha!) men caught on tape selling private parts out of a mortuary in Nairobi. Hearing them on the phone, you'd think it was some legit business going on. "Ya mwanamume au mwanamke-male or female? Anotoa pesa ngapi-how much is the buyer offering?". What if that was your hubby and you saw him on TV like that? Well, I guess that would explain why of late your standards of living had improved, eh? What ever happened to people dressing their own loved one's bodies before burial. Seems these days everyone just gives money to get everything done. I know, I've been involved in one funeral this year. That's great, if only you are not burying your loved ones bila private parts, maybe even bila some clothes. Anyway, I guess some people- or their consciences at the least- died a long time ago but they are still walking on this side of the grave.

There are also the 'genuine' stuff that is marketed in dubious ways. Like the Yvonne Chaka Chaka commercial with Lifebouy. Ati it's a 100% proven to reduce cases of illness, yeah? Complete with a coughing kid who I presume will stop coughing once he bathes with Lifebouy. Splash juice also has a way with that 100%. When you see the 100% from a distance, you think it's a 100% fruit juice, but on closer look, it's 100% Aseptically Packed. Excuse me as I go buy my 100% fruit. Sensodyne has a fully dressed dentist that let's you know that dealing with sensitive teeth is a as easy as using Sensodyne. Halafu Pampers is recommended by the Kenya Paediatric Association. Nivea has a way of getting at women. In one particular case in a Supermarket, they had ka-signpost showing the isles where to get all the stuff you need for soft, glowing, cellulite-free skin; fresh fruits and vegetables, whole cereals and yes, Nivea! Me, I take these claims with a pinch of Royco Mchuzi Mix.

Wacha I go buy me some to make me 'the tastiest githeri ever!'. Have a lovely Sunday, people.

PS: 'Biashara nyeti' does not mean 'private business', the same way 'sehemu nyeti' means 'private parts'. It's more like 'controversial business', like 'swala nyeti' means 'controversial issue'

No Wedding, Most Likely

2010-09-15T21:13:00.000+03:00

First off, am wondering how much I can keep PKW the Blog alive now that am not anonymous. This has been my space to chronicle stuff as it happens and as I see it, but since coming out, am not sure what direction this blogging thing will take. Like this girl here, I feel like starting over at another discreet space, but my style would remain the same and I guess you'd have me figured not too far into the blogging. I really want to keep blogging stuff as it happens and as I interpret it without the need to make it spicier, juicier, duller or anything faker than I take it. By the way The Man doesn't know about this space either, and I wouldn't want him to find out from someone else, now that I'm meeting other bloggers and tweeps. Seriously, how many of you out there have managed to keep it real after coming out? Assuming that no one knew about your blogging ways, anyway. These days, with technology, you never know! How well are you able to manage the curtain between your virtual life and your real life?

Moving on to the topic at hand. Yeah I know your remember this,eh? And Well, there's been lot's of situations like this one here. Not the riots, but when we just can't be together. Since the end of last year, it's been Kisumu, not Kigali. Same distance nevertheless. We couldn't even be together on Valentine's day, and I at that point called it quits, as you well know. We've worked out a lot of the stuff with me being more understanding when he can't make it, and him planning better. It's been a while since he called me on a Friday night to inform me that he's not coming the following day, but the last time he called on a Wednesday, I was unhappy but didn't throw a tantrum. I also appreciate that he's been understanding when I'm on the wrong, and has forgiven me the times I've wronged him. Which are few and far apart :-) I'm perfect like that!

Fast forward, we are talking meeting the parents in less than a month. We were meant to do it earlier but I wasn't so sure. And then later, logistically, it was not possible. Now in my part of the global village, once you meet the parents, you are past dating and are set to marry, which explains why I was a little hesitant initially. I admit I have met another set of parents for a few days over Christmas, but that was in a different cultural setting, and it doesn't get interpreted the same way it does in my village. So yeah, we are talking marriage,saving and investing together, and babies. I want three, he wants one, a boy. Basically all the things that married people (are supposed to) do together.Including in-laws; I want to live with my mum at some point in the future.

The question here is the wedding. On a regular day, I normally think this wedding thing is an over-rated, foreign concept, and am happy to exchange cows in place of vows. I don't remember having a dream wedding in my mind. Ever. The only thing I remember is injuring my wedding ring finger once while picking tea during holiday from secondary school and being grateful that at least it was on the right hand, just in case the scar remained. I have never really desired to have a wedding.

But now. The more I think about it, the more I want one. I even have a unique, designer wedding gown (si tailors are designers, ala!) in my head. No, really. The grooms men and brides maids are all matching in red, African yet modern outfit. The flowers are red roses. You guessed it, the theme is reddish. And I have a Maasai-beaded tiara.

Here's the downer to this grand dream of mine. The man doesn't want a wedding, or, wants one much later. His sister, who has been married for over 10 years, is having her wedding in November. I think she is his role model. I also know other couples who have done the traditional thing or signed a certificate and had a wedding later (like when the kids are in college, and am not talking about the 25th anniversary here!). Honestly, I don't get the rationale. My other argument is that at the rate I'm 'growing',and possibly after popping out two babies, I will not look as good on a later wedding date in a few years.

The biggest reason I want a wedding is so I can partake in my desire to savor, and celebrate each step and season in this my life. Reason behind that? I have lost a number relatives, G among them, and close to 3 dozen neighbours in the past 2 calendar years, and missed out on an extended family gathering, which happens only once a year, and has been delayed/canceled because of the funerals this year. I feel its about time my family, neighbours and friends met at a happy occasion. I also have these friends who are like family overseas, and it would be super good to be together again. I'm sure the lady friend would shed a tear or two-she's cries at happy occasions.

I have a friend who also tells me that I better have my way now, otherwise nikiolewa, it's submission to no end (haki ya nani, siamini hiyo!)

The thing is this, we don't have the money for the (big) wedding right now. We will have saved some for the same purpose by the time the proposed dates come up, and can have a small one, but the man does not want a small wedding. It's a big wedding or no wedding.He's kinda traditional like that; invite his and my extended families, his two and my two villages, our common (from college) and separate friends, and colleagues. Before I knew it, the list was +300 close family and friends.

You already know that I do not believe -the right phrase here is 'I hate it when...'- it's right to ask people to foot your wedding bill as is so common in our society, and The Man agrees so that's not even an option for either of us to fall back on.

My idea of a small wedding was thus: PKW and The Man dressed up, trip to Church or the registrar of marriages with our immediate family (20 people max!), the people who are 'standing for the wedding' (4) and a small reception thereafter. Could even be on a weekday. But the man? His quiet demeanor aside, I think he must be plotting to be a politician someday. Otherwise, good people tell me, why else would anyone want to please two provinces and the Nairobi Area on a very personal occasion?

Obviously, I alone want so many things right now, car included, and he too wants many things. Most importantly, in many ways, we are just starting to lay a financial foundation for the future, and we are already in our 30s. Even the Ksh 150K we will have saved by early March or late April can be put to different use-I can't bring myself to say 'better use' because a wedding is good use already!

Not really an option on my part, but it seems likely there will be no wedding. Final discussions will be held this coming weekend, insha Allah.

Coming out at UBHH

2010-08-23T16:25:00.000+03:00

I went to the last Uganda Bloggers Happy Hour (UBHH) and plan on going to the next one this Thursday. I think it should actually be remaned UBTHH to include the folk on twitter who never blog but don't shy away from UBHH.

As a result of my going, my blogging has been and will be greatly affected as I am no longer anonymous. I wasn't planning on being anonymous much longer anyway; I've been meaning to attend one mauano session in Nai, if they still happen.

See, my blog has always been about the people and events in my life, or so I would like to think. I don't have a theme that I write about. Hence I find this person mildly insulting who said that great mind discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and little minds discuss people; or something to that effect. You will be saddened to know that I've always fought long and hard to not blog about people; my friends, my family, my colleagues, my close enemies. So far, on many occassions, I have succeeded, but evidence points to the fact that I have a little mind. And blog. Right now I feel an urge to go back and edit any bad things I've written about people, dead or alive, so I can rise above the little mind level.

UBHH was fun. I met @Normzo who blogs here, Sleek, Jny23Ug (who I'd met way back in Feb), @HellenNyana, AntiPop, Baz, @MarkBulamu and many others. No offence, for those whose names I don't remember, or anyone who I claim to have met but did not. I was actually sick and on antimalarials, hence my quick exit to go and puke after just the first bottle. Thanks, @MarkBulamu, next time I'll take as many bottles of Smirnoff Ice as you can buy, though I realize I am not what I drink and may need to change alcohol preferences. Seriously, beer is bitter! You may be happy to know that I am considering quitting drinking alcohol once and for all. Or maybe just stick to the occassional glass of red wine.

Related: Archer Mishale is probably the most popular Kenyan blogger among the UG bloggers. One @Kenyansista was challenged to make her Uganda trip more than just an idea. That's all I can remember guys, sorry. On Thursday, (if I make it!) I won't be sick so hopefully I'll have more to report on. Happy week good people.

Unrelated: I'm wondering how I can get a day off on Friday, now that kidogo naanza kujivunia kuwa Mkenya. Call me a spoiler, naye, I think as Kenyans celebrate the promul....prowhatever of the new constitution they shouldn't forget the excitement following the 2002 elections and how, while there has been growth, it was not instant. Thing is, Kenya's is a developing country in every sense of the word, and politics, well, to me it's like a wind, which often changes direction, and we don't know which direction it will blow next time. Realistic optimism, that's how I live my life. Try it.

54 @ 32

2010-08-02T06:18:00.000+03:00

Good morning from my bed! It's 6:17 am on my birthday. I haven't been able to sleep well in the past week or so; I've been having a mild case of malaria. So even when I try sleeping close to midnight, my eyes are wide open at 3am or thereabouts, and I want to sleep at 6am. Yikes.

Today is my thirty twoth birthday. I'll be 32 at mid-day, that's when I was told I was born at the Rift Valley General Hospital in Nakuru. I've improved on the goal I had on my last birthday of being tidier with a bit of paid help once in a while, though I still need to find what I'm wearing today and iron it. Thankfully, Umeme has been very reliable. And we are allowed to be casual at work (we also do a lot of work outside) so if there's no umeme and I need to go, jeans and a jacket suffice.

What else, I have gained 2 or 3kgs over the past year. The last time I went to the doc, I weighed in at 54 kgs. I've never needed to exercise with the goal of losing weight since I've always been between 48kgs and 55kgs tangu I was a teen, the latter being my last two years of secondary school and the following year. I don't mind the weight, since am now growing back my trunk, but am worried about the weight gain, wondering if my metabolism has slowed down as it apparently does in your thirties. It would be awesome to grow the behind if it didn't come with a ring around the waist. My favourite jeans now make me look like a cup cake, so that I have wear them with a long shirt. I haven't had the discipline to exercise regularly. I bought a skipping rope last year and one week I'll skip 500 times a night for three nights, then go for weeks or months without it. Same for running in the hood. One week am up and running early, then everything goes back to me sleeping up to seven or seven-fifteen and not once exercising. I really want to get a car this year, so I think I have no option because the walk to or from the matatu stage will be eliminated. I don't want to pay for gym since it's a little pricey near where I live, though I think it might help since am a little frugal and would hate to feel like I am wasting money. Or, I could pay by the day and go three days a week, if I can keep it up :(

My guka died last week. I think he was in his mid-90s. Not a very good man when his family was young. I think 'domestic terrorist' would not have been a bad description at that time, based on the horror stories my mum and cucu gave me. But, my mum loved him, and is very sad. She wanted to take care of him when he was old, but she is also a little more traditional and he could not come and live with her in Uthoni (at the Ako in Luganda, if I'm correct; kwa shemeji). My mum will be 54 on the 30th of this month. I've been thinking about how we will take care of our parents. They are kinda separated; 'kinda' because they were not married in the civil or Christian marriage setting, yet there is no divorce in traditional marriages. I read what Maua wrote about her mum, and I feel glad that I'm not far from mine geographically. Also just finished reading this piece on NYT blog on taking care of old parents. I've pretty much made up my mind that I want to live with my mum in her golden days. She already kinda feels lonely, but that's unavoidable for now as we have to be out here making money for our own old ages; in addition, my siblings have young families to raise. It would be less than ideal for me to live with her now.

I doubt my kids will be my retirement package. Not that that's what my mum takes me to be, but I don't think retirement savings are on the minds of people her generation or slightly older.Generation is not restricted to age here. We'll talk about my father and step-mother with my siblings and half-siblings. And about my parents-in-law with the man I will marry. For myself, maybe I should just have many kids as health and old-age insurance; except I'd pay forward through the nose to finance their education, and there is no guarantee they will think about me the way I think about my parents. I would want the to be independent and follow their dreams without feeling guilty. Makes you think,eh? What do you think, exactly?

Just Wondering....

2010-07-14T14:06:00.000+03:00

The Sunday night bombs did make scared, I guess like they were meant to, oba? I’m still not sure whether to go to the Jinja Agricultural Show, which began on Monday and ends over the weekend. My friend says that living life scared of shopping, going to church, the club or generally avoiding public places only means ‘the enemy’ has won. Thing is, me I don’t know who this enemy is, okubanga Al Shabaab said whatever makes Uganda cry makes them happy, so am wondering if it was really them. You know why I don’t know? Because bombs have exploded in Kigali (presidential elections are next month) and in Nairobi (referendum on the draft constitution is also supposed to be in a few weeks). And there are elections here somewhat early next year. So I don’t know; but I am avoiding crowded places for a while.

Jana jioni I happened upon a guy who works in security and he was telling us how they sold out on most of their devices on Monday. Then came discussions on how effective those security things are. You know that ka-thing they use to screen you when getting in a bus/matatu or some clubs? Ati it only detects metals. Apparently the only one that shows bombs and drugs is the one they have at the airport that scans your luggage. And a walk-through device like that would be too pricey for small businesses. Halafu, most people have no idea what a bomb looks like, so even when a guy is using a mirror to find what’s under your car, I’m not sure he knows what he should be looking out for. Or if it matters that you could hide it elsewhere. The security guy was sure people and businesses are going to go back to normal pretty soon, just like we did after the swine flu scare. Naye in the mean time, these guys in security will make some good money.

Lakini me I sometimes wonder; do people take life thaaaat seriously? I know am personally guilty of not always sleeping under a (treated) mosquito net, even when the message is all around me. And occasionally sitting on a boda boda. I know people who live in not very clean environment, but never bother to boil drinking water, saying it doesn’t taste as good. And when an oil tanker has an accident, there are more than enough people willing to go fetch some. And the illicit brews that guys will go blind while drinking and go like “hata mkizima taa, tutazidi kunywa!” Anyway, me I am going to take care, whenever I can, so as not to be a statistic, as my good friend B always says. I know death is definite at some point in life; how else do you explain the ‘hakika kama mauti’ msemo?. But I have this strong desire to live a long, happy and fulfilling life. So help me God.

EAC: Much Hype About Little

2010-06-29T10:43:00.000+03:00

From watching the news, it is clear that MPs, News Anchors and anyone hyping the free movement of Labour, Capital, Right of Residence and other benefits of being a citizen of EAC member states haven't read the EAC Protocol document and its annexes. Am trying to find what's gonna be different effective July 1st, and "Not much" seems to be the answer.

For one, there really is no such thing as free movement of labour.The Annex on Free Movement of Workers unsays that. I had held out on reneweing my work permit, but my employer will still need to part with the money. I actually consider myself lucky since most of my friends have had to pay for their permits. I think what the EAC protocol document does is 'steamline' the application for work permits; whatever that means. So friends and relatives, please stop calling me for job opportunities in UG, will you?

Here is another fallacy that Kenyans in Uganda are spreading; that after the 'borders open' on Thursday, Kenyans can come here and buy up land and property in the name of Right of Residence and Free Movement of Capital. Again, "The Partner States hereby agree that access to and use of land and premises shall be governed by the national policies and laws of the Partner States". The Land Act in Uganda is very clear. All land belongs to the citizens, and a company is only considered citizen if its majority shareholding is by a Ugandan(s). Non-citizens can lease land for upto 99 years, but the Investment Act says that non-citizens can't lease land for crop and animal production-unless they are helping Ugandan farmers. So beware, take calculated risks if you must, but the law is not on 100% on your side.

The Customs Union Protocol Article 10(Internal Tarrifs) states: Save as is provided in Article 11 of this Protocol, the Partner States shall, upon the coming into force of this Protocol, eliminate all internal tariffs and other charges of equivalent effect on trade among them, in accordance with the provisions of Article 14 of this Protocol.

Then Article 11 States Thus: The establishment of the Customs Union shall be progressive in the course of a transitional period of five years from the coming into force of this Protocol.

Going back to Part 2 of Article 10:

2. The Partner States agree that upon the coming into force of this Protocol and for the purpose of the transition into a Customs Union:
(a) goods to and from the Republic of Uganda and the United Republic of Tanzania shall be duty free; and
(b) goods from the Republic of Uganda and the United Republic of Tanzania into the Republic of Kenya shall be duty free.
3. Goods from the Republic of Kenya into the Republic of Uganda and the United Republic of Tanzania shall be categorised as follows:
(a) Category A goods, which shall be eligible for immediate duty free treatment; and
14
(b) Category B goods, which shall be eligible for gradual tariff reduction.

That gradual period is five years. Five Years. Five...

There, you have it! I had to verify that I have the current document.

Me, I will believe the hype when I see it.

ONE (WO)MAN BUSINESS SHOWS

2010-06-07T16:59:00.000+03:00

A friend of mine recently-if January is recent- quit her job and joined another company that doubled her salo and transferred her to Kenya. She said the former business was a one-man show, with the majority shareholder making decisions alone, most of the time. She didn’t feel fully utilised, and felt that her opinion never mattered. It made me think of how many businesses are so dependent on individuals that they are almost sure of collapsing or having near-death experiences when that individual is absent. Here are a few more examples. I won’t name most names;

• The Forex Bureau opposite KCB Kampala road; it has probably the best rates in town. Even the first M-Pesa guy in Uganda goes there-we call him Mapesa. I like using it because it’s right opposite KCB, so if I need Ksh, I’ll buy go to KCB, withdraw UGX , cross the road, buy Ksh and deposit in my (or my mum’s or my brother’s) account. Of course I could just buy at KCB, but their rates are not customer friendly. So one Sato about a month ago, I went to the FX Bureau, and was surprised to find the closed before 2pm. I asked the askari what was going on and he said they were closed because mzeyi (mzee) was sick. This came as a surprise because besides three or so other employees, there’s this guy I always thought to be mzeyi’s son and imagined he would run the show.

• The fuel station next to City Oil on Bombo road. I have another friend who is in the fuel industry. Any time you want to give him directions or get directions from him, the easiest landmark for him is the fuel station in that area. So you are telling him to take turns and he’ll be like “which is the nearest fuel station”. Guess you have to know who your competitors are. So one day we are going to Luweero, or somewhere in that direction, and he mentions that City Oil on Bombo is probably the busiest station in K’la. Right next to it they have Java’s, the coffee shop which gave birth to Cafe Java’s at Oasis Mall where Nakumatt is located. I admire these guys; I think they started with City Tyres, went on to City Oil, then Java’s and then Cafe Java’s. Now, right next to City Oil is probably the deadest fuel station in Kampala. Reportedly, it was there first. Juzi while on Bombo road with another friend, I mentioned how unbusy it was-even their restaurant is no longer operational, I think. My friend said (he had heard) that the business owner suffered a stroke, and the business never recovered.

• A Kenyan construction contracting company gone regional. The Man used to work for them in Kigali, but now, you wouldn’t convince him to work for a one-man-show business again. I’ll keep this short.

• Talking of Kigali; I think Rwanda is a one-man show country. But the guy has a strong PR team, at least internationally. I used to think that if African countries were corporations, Rwanda would have the best CEO. Not so much now. In other countries, when a guy is president for 23 years (16 so far, the presidential term is 7 years and he will win), he is called a dictator. They have what the world calls a benevolent dictator. Maybe, just what they need? Na akienda, je?

I'm Famous!

2010-06-06T10:25:00.000+03:00

Jana I was just minding my business on the internet and saw the comment on my last post by Raymond Chepkwony. Not sure how I missed that in the newspaper. That's right guys, PKW is in the papers! Not just any paper, but the Friday Nation. Page 16 of the print edition of Zuqka, to be precise.

There was one or two un-facts but this made my day; "The ones weaned on Cerelac, Conrflakes and Weetabix until their hearts were broken-and not by too much carbohydrates-don't share the same sense of pride as those who hot-combed their hair from a smoking, broken piece of pot bottom in an open-air salon in Kanyenya-ini village". He he, memories are made of this.

Up next; Mauano with akina Raymond, where I'll clear the humongous bill as per the Proud Kikuyu Woman I am- you wish!

Safaricom-Equity; Say what you will

2010-05-20T21:03:00.000+03:00

Lots has been said about the Safaricom-Equity M-Kesho deal. Of course I had to say something. I remember reading somewhere (must be CGAP) that central Bank allowed Safaricom to implement M-Pesa by ruling out that it was not banking since banking involved taking deposits and accruing interests. And so And made all the difference. Therefore, M-Pesa was not banking but money transfer.

People have hated on Safaricom/Safaricon/Suffericom for long, yet it continues to be the dominant player with ever improved products and deals, despite the more expensive call tarrifs. I subscribe to Safaricom, as does close to everyone in my extended family. As for Equity, my sister once told me that many people in Central Kenya don't ask if you have a bank account. It's simply "Ni uri Equity?"-Do you have Equity? I'm so sure this might make some of my remaining relatives move from komashio (KCB) to Muiganania (Equity). Seems like with time I'll be able to carry out real time transfers from Equity Bank in Uganda to M-KESHO in Kenya. You guys charging us 2.5%-4% for M-Pesa transfers in UG, your days are so numbered.

Lesson learned? Innovate or whine.

I Didn't Get the Job :o(

2010-05-18T15:12:00.000+03:00

I didn't tell you all that I'd applied for a job across the border with my organization. I got shortlisted and interviewed, but then they promoted a guy from within. I would be very happy if I were in his position-he has been around like four years and I think he's realy good. Still, I was bummed! It looks like I'll be here for a while, at least that's my current mindset. After all, it does appear like after July 1st when the EAC arrangement goes through (maybe it's 'if', not 'when'- I doubt the seriousness of TZ. Plus si they were talking about it in like '67?), crossing over to UG will be like crossing over to another district in .ke. I've been to my original home three times and found myself in three different districts; first it was Nyeri, then Nyeri South, then Mathira East/West, and now I'm not sure which district we are in. I don't dwell much on the politics of this side of the national borders but the number of districts (effectively constituencies) coming up in some geographical regions is worrying. And a new note that I hope is not the Jirongo of UG. In the early 90s, that's what the 500 bob bill was known in my locality. I plan to take my leave around election time next year, though I doubt things could get as ugly as they did in Kenya after the election. Even the September '09 riots weren't that bad, only that watching it on TV with the army tanks on the streets and all, you'd be forgiven to think the whole country was at war.

Now to work smart so I can earn a promotion where I am. Maybe next year.I could go home at one level lower, and the money is almost the same anyway, but it's not a do-or-die situation. My performance rating for the last year was more like average. I sure need to up my career management game. As with many things I work at it and say; we will see.

Numbering

2010-04-14T18:29:00.000+03:00

Rain is to Kampala what a snow storm is to Washington, DC. Yesterday the heavens opened around the time most people head home. As you can imagine, traffic was horrible. For those like me who don’t drive (yet, I’d like to imagine. Kidding, I have a chauffeur-not! Well, matatu, taxi and boda bodas drivers). I figured if I called my regular cab guy to come pick me and drop me off at home it might take as much time as it would have taken to walk to City Square and board a matatu to my hood.

Trouble with matatus here is that they are not numbered. You know only know it’s going your route if the conductor is shouting the name of the place that’s in the general direction where you are going, or and pointing right, left or straight ahead. In most cases, shouting and pointing. Pretty confusing if you are new. For instance, if you are standing on Kampala Road, a conductor pointing straight ahead may be going to Bweyogere/Mukono/Seeta or Bweyogerere/Kireka/Banda. Left indicates Nakawa/Ntinda while right indicates Luzira/Bugolobi. At the matatu stage in my hood, they straight ahead is for to the new Park/Kampala Road/Fido Dido. You have to be keen with this one because they can take different roads there, but rest assured, you’ll at least get back on Kampala Road at the Esso Corner – does Esso still exist? The ones going to the Old Taxi Park point left and shout as much.
So jana after work, I went to City Square. The place was over-crowded, with very few matatus, all full. Most were going to what I then christened my rival hood. I walked up Kampala Road towards King Fahd Plaza and took shelter near Shell. And that’s where I was till my matatu caEventually, my matatu came, and charged us 1UGX 1,500 instead of the usual 1,000, which I understand because I think they make fewer rounds when it’s wet. I got home slightly after 9pm.

Watching and listening to what direction the matatus take has got me thinking; it wouldn’t take long to designate route numbers to all the Kampala neighbourhoods and get matatus to adopt.

On the other hand, Ugandans are way ahead of Kenyans in terms of street numbering. Most plots in Kampala are numbered. When you need a physical location, you write the Plot Number and the Road. E.g. PKW Ltd, Plot 2 PKW Road, That Hill, Kampala. Not so in Nairobi. It’s more like, That Road, opposite that Petrol Station, next to that Church, at the intersection between these two Roads, behind that Building, formally known as that other Building etc etc. Pretty confusing.
Today I had a bit of trouble locating an office because the plot numbers were pretty straight forward till the one I couldn’t find the one I was looking. There was 215-----211 then 165. The business I was looking for is not easily recognizable. But it didn’t take long to get to them-I called the guy and he told me to go up the road from the Police Station that is at an intersection.

Kampala can teach Nairobi a thing.

'SERVANTS'. AND THE CLASS THINGY

2010-03-28T23:14:00.000+03:00

Yaani it’s been long since I blogged. Nsaba munisonyiwe bambi (Mtajuaje? Naringa). Wacha I see if I can do a post a week. Also look out for one of mine over at Raymond Chepkwony’s place. Hebu we see if I can do stuff his style.

Leo I want to talk about ‘servants’. It’s in quotes because am referring to actual employees, some at the places where we work, others that are employed at home. Maybe it’s because we didn’t have any when I was growing up, but the whole arrangement does not sit well with me most of the time.
Let’s start with the time I was working as a ‘servant’. I’ve written on this blog that I at one point would baby-sit some neighbours’ and friends of friends kiddos, do laundry, and clean house while doing an unpaid internship that gave me the kind of experience I was looking to put on my CV. And, I consider myself lucky as I had more indirect financial support than anyone I can think of. While job-hunting post-grad school, I waited on wealthy folks who paid top dollar for the smallest portions I’d ever seen people pay for. The point here is not to tell you nilipitia njia mrefu. Let’s just say that I have been in the ‘service’ industry, but with a better package than most locals here. Case in point: If I worked more than 40 hours a week, I was paid 1.5 times my hourly rate.

When I eventually started working my desk job, there were no servants. I would often bump into the president of our organization toasting his bread or microwaving his lunch at work. At one point when it was apparent that the economy was headed south (even though I believe these were actually not bad times for the firm), they announced budget cuts, sending an email that you needed to clean after yourself in the kitchen because those services were not being paid for any more. Some guys would only come by after everybody had left to clean office and pick up the trash.
Fast forward to here and now; I’m talking E. Africa. Thanks to the high official unemployment rate, there are plenty of ‘servants’. With it, the class thing is alive and well. I bet you, you can walk into any office and get a general idea of who’s ‘big’ depending on how waited on they are. I’ve been to places where the biggest person gets served tea with spices in a special flask with a colourful cup, the big people are served in special flasks at their desks, and the rest fetch their tea in a common room or in a kitchen somewhere. It all seems totally acceptable, almost expected.

Let’s starting with the day I was seated in an office with a big person. She sends the cleaning guy for a plastic cup of water from the water cooler. The guy initially gives her an odd look, but then proceeds to go fetch the water anyway. But not before she has specified her order ‘wait! I want a mixture of hot and cold water. No, wait! Bring it in two separate cups, one hot, one cold” The guy goes, comes back with one cup, saying it was the last at the cooler-plastic cups. She hands him the one she had been drinking from, asking him to go get another one. The guy obliges. We stay for been about 10 minutes and she hasn’t touched the water, eventually going out the door. I’m thinking, the water cooler is in the general direction of the door, ma’am.

There are those tea people and cleaning people. These guys do more physical work than most of us in a day. More often than not, they are the first to get to work, and the last to leave, and most likely the least paid. Halafu people give them the most mundane tasks. ‘J.,take my food to the fridge. G., go get my food from the fridge and warm it up for me. Go get me lunch. No, I said I wanted groundnut paste, not beans’ –which is offered in only one restaurant that is like a15 minute walk, sometimes in the sun. It’s pretty sad when you realise they are buying and warming everyone’s lunch but their own-because hawana. ‘Buy me air-time’. I asked one why they do all this when clearly, it’s not in their job description, and they said that their JD clearly describes their duties and states that they are to run any other errands assigned to them. Talk of going an extra mile.

Mbotch

I won’t repeat what Shiko from Msa said about domestic servants. But banange, if some made my entire family's food and I had to leave them with my child/ren all day, I’d handle them with care. I onceI carried out an informal survey-if you call asking one question repeatedly a survey- about how much maids are paid. The mode was UGX 30,000 (like Ksh 1,200) per month. Answer to ‘why, that’s kidogo!’? ‘That’s the market rate’. Free markets at best? Yeah, you could also argue that there are market rates for slaves. Even more amusing is when the ‘employers’ will be ‘poverty professionals’: apparently when you need a domestic servant, gender balance, women empowerment, education, making poverty history yada yada yada don’t start at home.

It's Not Me, It's You

2010-02-14T15:32:00.000+03:00

Today is Valentine’s day, in case you missed it. I’ve read my card, but not yet touched the chocolate or sparkling wine. That’s for later. Yes, no, we couldn’t be together.

The thing is that I’m already thinking of how to end it with the Man, because I don’t see his clan bringing goats and cows (actually these days it’s their equivalent in Kenya Shillings) to mine in exchange of me. We had agreed that the walk down the aisle can be done several years down the line, or even never, as long as the legal thing had been done so he’s not left free to ‘buy’ as many wives as he can afford. We had even set dates for the initial unofficial Meet the Family visits last December, before I suggested that we postpone for a later, unspecified date.

Now, in my gut, I almost know the Man is not the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve told him as much, got back the few things I had at his place, but he doesn’t seem to get it. I kinda am at peace with my decision. But there is a problem. Maybe up to four problems.

A man features prominently in my 5-year Strategic Dream. Not sure why I place him at number 2, while ideally, he would contribute to number 1. Well, there was no particular order.

Also, there is the fact that I’m 32 this August, and I think, over here at least, there is a fat chance that the probability of meeting the one you want to spend the rest of your life with gets slimmer as the numbers go up.

Now, I’m not sure I want to pray about this Man issue anymore. I feel like God has probably given me many chances already, but I seem to always have a reason why not this one (like passion, even). That is, when I’ve not been the one being given the boot. Which reminds me of my friend in college; B. B once told me and her room-mate at one point to “Shindeni tu hapo mki-date machali. Wakati mtapata malaika, mkuje mniambie ‘B. nimepata malaika, sasa nataka kuolewa!’”. Loosely translated: ”Go on, just date for fun, when you meet angels, come back and tell me ‘B. I have met an angel, now I want to get married!’”. Which would be my mum’s take too, though hers sometimes seems to border on the justcloseyoureyesandgetmarriedifhenotabusiveorjustgetababyalready! school of thought.

So, in the past few days, I’ve been thinking more in the line of how I’d live my life as Single PKW, if it comes to that. Or, by method of elimination (like, ‘he lacks passion’. Really), how to eventually settle for Mr. Good Enough if/when he comes along.

MONOPOLY

2010-01-28T17:20:00.000+03:00

Tuesday was Liberation Day here. We were observing the day the National Resistance Movement, led by M7, captured (that must be the right word. I've heard that Kenyatta would get offended and verbally insult you if you said that 'we' were granted freedom by the Brits. "Tulinyakua Uhuru" was right-er) power in Kampala after 5 years in the bush. I forget from whom the country was liberated. M01 was also around, pushing forth for a 4th term of the M7 presidency. Elections are early next year.

When I got back into town in the evening, I got together with some friends and we played Monopoly. It was a first for me.

After learning the rules, I bought some property when I could, refused to make early deals that would have seen me develop some from which I could have earned rent, or even allowed me to buy more, and refused to buy property I thought too cheap and in bad neighbourhoods. That you earned 200 bob every time you passed by sounded like a Mungiki-infested area.
The end? The guy who got the cheap stuff made a fortune, and was able to buy and develop other properties. Which made me broke because I had to pay too much rent. I had to mortgage my houses at half price, and ended up selling my properties to merely pass by. In the end, I was left with no property, was penniless and, I imagined, homeless.

I was shocked. Not because I lost the game (I can explain! It was my first time, and I was the second to go bankrupt, out of four people. The first loser was the mugaga-sonko-in an earlier game before I got there). I don’t want to live my life like that. We all started with exactly equal opportunities, but two of us were wiped out. Just wondering could life be like that?
In the next five years, I’ll focus investing for the long term, and on cash-flow outside my job in the medium term. Medium term is now through the next 5 years. God willing, and helping me. Starting........soon!

Ultimately I think Monopoly is a game of chance. But isn’t life? I think a more appropriate name for the game would have been Capitalism. Like, you are either going to eat or be eaten. You know, like the animals I saw on National Geographic at the same venue some time earlier. Because I’ve never been to Maasai Mara, neither do I have DSTV (who’s the other new Pay-TV guy after the death of GTV, R-TV? See, it’s a game of chance). Not until this coming weekend, anyway. Way to get that positive cash-flow, you know?

Seeking Balance

2010-01-19T15:49:00.000+03:00

Part of this post might come off in classic Kenyan Reality style (See the last paragraph, white font here): scarcity of details and the only take-away is that things are a bit out of balance, in a negative way.

I only made New Year resolutions in early 2005, the same year I resolved to keep a diary from that year onwards. Then I lost the diary sometimes before June, and decided never to keep one anymore. In a shared house with no personal space, it was too risky to have the wrong pairs of eyes reading it. Because I wrote about my interactions with people, some of whom I was living with.

Learning how to live with people while minimizing conflicts has been a journey for me. I can't say what I achieved what year, and definitely don't remember 'resolving' to learn how to coexist with others peacefully.

Anyway, last week there was an in incident that led to a few awake-at-night moments. And there are two others that kept me awake last night. In one, I’ll my know my fate by Feb 9th. . Still, I need to come up with a plan B for the result because I have a deadline to meet by the 15th. The other is a process that needs a lot of my effort, and favour from God. The effort needed to resolve the first issue includes such things as: patience, resolve, mutual understanding, giving and receiving respect and dignity, and even levelling expectations. And of all things, commitment. No, the other party is not even remotely a romantic partner.

There was a time that I had so much faith in God that all I would do was give my best in whatever depended on me, pray, chill, change strategy whenever need arose. These days, I’m taking things quite personally. Even being a bit sceptical on God’s intervention (to use a trending topic, think the Haiti earthquake, His omnipotence, and their faith in Him). Only that it’s all been to my detriment. I would never lose sleep over stuff. I’m so going back to my former way of dealing with everything! It doesn’t all make sense all the time, but it works for me.

Here are some 20 easy ways you can reduce daily stress. I guess, in life, you can reduce stress by better planning and anticipating stuff. And for me, praying.

To Tell or Not to Tell? Or ask.

2010-01-15T14:02:00.000+03:00

Would you ask or tell all of your 'pyjama time' stats? There's this guy who wrote to Love Letters . He's freaked out because he asked and she said she had it going with like 35 guys in college.

Then there's huyu who's afraid to share inexperience.

I prefer to not ask. But sure go for tests. Wewe je?

I'm Back

2010-01-11T18:15:00.000+03:00

As my Zimbabwean colleague would put it, I’m bek to werk. That is, back to work. It was good to be home and away from UG for some time. The trip itself had kidogo drama, with my flights delayed both ways. I fikad at my house at 3am leo morning, and had to be at work the same day. But, I’m a KQ shareholder, so I won’t bash them much. Here’s a recap of my time away from my home.

Got to spend time with my family. My niece and nephew, those kids are growing, yawa! Even took it upon myself to tell PKW kadogo a few things about boys and sex . PKW kadogo is my cousin’s kido, and is turning 12 this year, and we are named for my cucu. My mum seems to be ageing a bit faster than I’d have expected. She complained that siku hizi watu wanaishi kama wazungu, with kids and gradkids away from parents and grandparents. Told her she can always come stay with me when she is old(er) and I have a family. And I mean it. It’ll be awesome, I think. Interestingly, seeing my family made me feel a bit old too. Imagine I saw PKW kadogo’s mum pregnant with her when I was 19, going on 20!

Time with friends fro seco. I think there is nothing like friendships za kitambo. You know, one of those when you haven’t seen each other for five years, meet up, and ongea, mpaka it feels like you were never apart? With one of them, we spoke mpaka the husband flashed her phone—aende akalale.

Time with my friend that I met kwa mtandao. Kasichana, thanks for inviting me to the Kenya-Cameroon friendly match on Sato. Thanks to you,I can now be counted among the people who have seen Etoo, Song (? The guy who plays for Arsenal) and Congestina live. We lost. 3:1. Wana-Cameroon waendelee hivyo hivyo especially kwa finals za World Cup in June. Woi, I hope at least one African team will get to the semi-finals. Gosh, I hope the stadium is going to be ready.

Not enough time with the Man, but every second was well worth it. We even had a mini-crisis which we kinda created by failing to plan, and got through it intact.

Became increasingly aware that depression is a terrible disease. A relative of a friend, whom I knew, committed suicide in ’08. She was 30. Second time I was hearing this in the last couple months, though the other friend’s dad committed suicide in the early-mid 90s. I think many people, including me, are never aware when they are depressed, thus never seek help. And what you think is your support system can be your biggest detractor. It may be hard for people to support you if they don’t know you’re sick and don’t even recognize a disease in the first place. There is a case for mental health awareness in Kenya.

Had conversations that made me to (more seriously) think about retirement. Yaani, gone are the days when people would retire and go grow sukumawikis or have a ka-kiosk huko shagz and that would sustain them. These days, some maybe lucky to be in the village sinceyour expenses may not be as high as those of townfolk. Luckier if your kids are doing well enough to take care of their kids and take care of you. Not many Kenyans put retirement living into their plans. We have a lot of young people to take care of, and it’s a matter of time till we have a lot of old people to take care off. I used to hate nursing homes with a passion, but now.....someone better think of expanding that business model.

Matatus: I ride them all the time in UG, they are called taxis. Cabs are called ‘Special Hires’. Over here they are white, with a broken blue strip, not pimped hata kidogo. In Nairobi, they come in many colours, music and DVDs. I rode in many ‘SMS ONLY’ matatus. Yeah, the music was that loud. And Tanzanian music seems to have taken over. But then matatus went on strike last Monday.As my sister-in-law put it, watu wa matatu ni watu wa njaa, hawawezi enda long. Sure, they were back Tuesday night. I really hope we don’t get as many bodabodas in town. Ama they outlaw their operation in the CBD. Kajini they are doing a great job between where the matatus drop people off and homes in shagz. Made a new friend. A broker, can imagine that?

M-Pesa scare. Sent 10K to someone by mistake, using 0710, instead of 0720. You should have seen me running from Maggie’s to the Safaricom Customer Care Centre on Moi Avenue and dialling 234 at the same time. I ingiad the Maggie’s kitchen while looking for the exit. Luckily 234 went through real quickly and they reversed the transaction. But I couldn’t re-send or use that particular amount of money until after 72 hours. Apparently, people had gotten into the habit of buying lots of merchandise, paying through M-Pesa, and immediately calling Safcom claiming they sent the money by mistake. Then discard the SIM card and get another one. Kinda makes SIM registration sensible, when I think about it. J.N., the guy I’d sent the money to by mistake, asked me to send him 100bob air-time sababu hakutumia pesa yangu vibaya. I didn’t. M-Pesa’s real cool. I even M-Pesad the mama who did my hair the fee.

Rain, rain came our way: a lot of Kenyans had prayed. It poured. Yaani, in my village it rained every day. When I went back to Nai, I M-Pesad my mum enough money to plant 100 or 125 trees. Also realized that forest land at the small centre not far from our ka-market on the way to town has been demarcated and settled in by, I think, previously landless people. Used to be a forest 10 years ago when we moved there. Also, wonder of wonders, wells in our village had dried up during the draught. Imagine that, and we don’t have rivers. Potatoes, which we;ve sold for as low as 200bob a sack, had hit 5K bob.

Real estate (flats and houses): I think now that the roads are being repaired, real estate value in some places is shooting trhough the roof. Was last in Kitengela in December 2004, and now people have built up the place like no one’s biashara. Nyumba poa za kuishi. It’s becoming a well established town with all the social amenities. Was in Kajiado, and some guys actually commute there daily from Kitengela. Then I met this guy who told me that he’d bought 2 parcels of land for 70K each in early 2008, and just sold one for 500K. Then again, some people in Central Kenya will quote millions for an acre, even though they can’t justify that. I think it may be a bubble. There are flats coming up almost in every direction you drive from Nairobi. I should be a shareholder in one of those cement-manufacturing companies. Or HFCK, or the other banks financing the developments. I also imagine that it may be better to buy than build a house. Saving me the hassle of building from scratch. Just a thought.

Other resources (cows, land). I think the Maasais, at least the ones I interacted with, are a very rich lot.

I feel rather excited about 2010, like it has great things in store.
I wish everyone a happy, health and prosperous (for real, not just because that’s what people say) 2010. May God guide you and help you accomplish your plans in 2010 and beyond.

YEAR END

2009-12-18T18:34:00.000+03:00

When I was growing up, the end of the year was observed as a time of thanksgiving, reflecting, and praying to God for the coming year. I still do that, but of late the New Year has found me sleeping, and at least once, in a club. I think I will be sleeping this time too. But today is the end of the working year at our office, effectively marking the end of the year career-wise. On Sunday I head to Nairobi, proceeding to the village mid-next week for Christmas and perhaps the New Year.

Thanksgiving:

• I’m thankful for family, my job, and my new friends
• Thankful for old friends
• Thankful for great health
• I feel like I’m on track to get a grip on my finances, and for that I’m thankful.

Taking Stock
• It’s been a hard transition, getting into a somewhat different culture, learning to manage people, upping my ‘diplomacy’ skills, and negotiating skills. Not easy at all, but I strive to be better. Everything has a start.
• I’ve had fights with loved ones, some hard talking has had to be done, and all has ended well. We love each other deeply, though we rarely say this to one another, and I can’t wait to see everyone. I’ve made new friends, two who are very close
• The Man. Not sure where this is going. While Kisumu may be nearer to Kampala than Kigali is, it is farther away from Nairobi than Kigali is from Kampala. I aspire to aspire to be in Nairobi. I feel like I’ll be singing a different song when next year comes to a close. Ah, relationships! I’m not so good at them. Well, maybe I am, probably a tad too idealistic. I will never say never again .I’ve said this before , “I can never be ina long-distance relationship again”
• Houses. Nice, affordable housing in Kampala is not easy. How to say this? You can get a nice affordable house in a neighbourhood that doesn’t match the house. I moved into a new house in February. The rules? Not everyone who comes from Kenya should come to your place. Only have visitors on weekends, don’t come in after 10:30pm, 10:55 at the latest, that’s when the gate is locked. I’ll admit I got into this one with my eyes wide open, because after a long search that was becoming expensive, I had only one weekend before heading to Nairobi for a week. Couldn’t wait for the last Friday of April, by which time I’d found a house to move into the following day (having paid two months’ rent to the only guy who could accept as few). So I went out that Friday and came back at 11:30 pm. After all, it was my last day there, and wasn’t too late. That mzee tukanad me sana sana sana. Words like malaya. Then came to kick me out in the morning, as if I hadn’t already packed. And repeat the same scene in broad daylight. I was in tears. Funny thing is his wife is from Kiambu (yes, I knew this when I moved in. The broker said I’m muna-Kenya and she responded with “Uhoro waku?”) and she just stood there. I got the feeling the guy is the lion of that home. I moved to the Mengo area, not far from the Buganda parliament. This time it was an apartment, with the owner living in a separate house. I moved on out after the four months worth of rent expired, careful to give the required notice When I went to collect my deposit after moving to my new place, she informed me that one socket had burned out, and had needed UGX 35,000 for a replacement, and UGX 15, 000 for the service. Must have happened between when I’d moved out and came back for the deposit, but they had done the replacement already-and there was soot on the wall. There went my UGX 50,000 (Ksh 2,000). I didn’t contest it. And the broker who helped me locate the apartment had disappeared with my UGX 200,000 (Ksh 8,000) as a deposit on another house that we had been on the lookout for before the apartment materialized. That house was taken by another couple at a t time when the broker told me he had been imprisoned. He eventually gave me UGX 130,000. After going to the Local Council 1 chairman, who asked me for UGX 15,000, and various phone calls and visits to the broker, and threatening to go to the police, I gave up. I worried he could after me, hata kama he didn’t know my new place.
I like my current place. The landlord got his six months worth of rent in August, which run out at the end of January. He has been asking me for a copy of the lease (which I’d given to his agent). The agreement is that from January, I pay rent in three month instalments. Yesterday he called to say he has a tumour, and wants a year’s worth of rent at the end of January. The agreement clearly states that any notice shall be in writing, and each party shall give the other at least two months. I feel like contesting this, but then I like to go home to a place I look forward to going home to (God, I love my place, and no doubt it’ll be hard to find a place like it), where there is goodwill between the neighbours. If I contest his ‘request’, I’m not sure we’ll be talking to each other. Then, I’m scared for my safety. I live with his two siblings and two relatives on the same compound (mine is a semi-detached unit from their house), and the watchman is their relative. So if anything was to ‘happen’ there would be no neutral party. I don’t want to think about it right now. I just want to go home for Christmas, and a week’s leave on first week of work. If things turn out that I have to move, my friend is moving back to Kenya, and the house agent she worked with sounded like they’d be willing to have the house vacant in January if I assure them I’ll move in come February. It’s furnished, so I may have to dispose off my bottom of the range furniture. She lives across the street from me. I don’t intend to move after that, maybe when I eventually go home.

Praying:
• My family
• My finances
• My country,my region, my continent
• My career
• Some personal things I’d rather not put out here
Happy Holidays everyone!

EMBAGA, OBUFUMBO, AND MAKING MATOOKE

2009-12-11T08:02:00.000+03:00

Last Saturday I went for my colleague’s wedding. I am still trying to make the best of my Luganda by speaking it as much as I can. On our way back from the weddo, I wanted to say how good I thought it was, so I asked my other colleagues for the Luganda word for ‘wedding’. Somebody said ‘Embaga’, which could also translate into ‘Party’. Thought that was cool. Didn’t realize there is no difference between’ wedding’ and ‘marriage’ in Kikuyu (uhiki), though older people refer to it as 'home'. Not home as in house, but home as in family e.g. the home of PKW’s parents is nice/difficult. I take that to mean marriage is all inclusive, not just between 2 people. Not so cool. The Kikuyu word for a (married) woman is Mutumia. Directly translated, it means ‘the one who shuts up’. A (married) man is called a Muthuuri, from the verb guthuura (to choose). I once thought that was cool because it meant the man had chosen the woman. But I can’t tell you how many weddings I have attended in the village and hear this advice: Muthuuri etagwo muthuuri ni guthurania maundu, nake mutumia etwagwo mutumia ni gutumiria maundu (Loosely: a man is called a man because he chooses between different things, and woman is so called because she shuts things up within herself when issues arise). Not cool at all.

Oh, there is one more phenomenon as far as weddings go over here. People have what is called a kiwani wedding. A fake wedding. As, in ome people do actually fake weddings when they want to raise money, not get married. Look what happened to Straka, a local TV presenter.

On the other hand, marriage is called Obufumbo in Luganda. Directly translated to English by me, that comes to something like ‘the cookery’, or ‘the place of cooking’. I’ll stick with the first since the names of most places or to be more specific, regions, start with Bu e.g. Buganda for the Baganda people, Busoga, Bunyoro, Bukonzo and (as learnt on Tuesday) Buddu,etc. A Buddu post might see the light of day someday.

The verb that Obufumbo comes from is okufumba ; to cook. Small wonder there is such variety when it comes to food over here. On a regular day, for lunch, I have the following choices: matooke, posho/kaunga (ugali), ebinjanjaro (beans), binyebwa (groundnut paste), mucheele (rice), olumonde (ngwaci), Irish potatoes, kyenyanja (fish), kaawo (I probably made that up-cow peas), enyama y’e mbuzi/nte/enkoko (goat/cow/chicken meat), juni (arrow root), nsuju (pumpkin), muwogo (cassava) and assorted greens and fruits. Depending on the area, that costs between UGX 2500 (Ksh 100-USD 1.5) and UGX 8,500. A lot of the time I pack my lunch.
Did I mention earlier that chips and chicken is not food, but a snack? Try walking into a restaurant one fine Sunday afternoon and ordering what’s on the menu. Chances are you’ll be told “we don’t cook food on Sundays, we have snacks only”. On further inquiry, you realize the said snacks are chips and chicken. I think that’s food enough for a regular Nairobian to eat Monday to Friday. And you wonder why the Kenyan man goes on and on about the beauty of the Ugandan woman. One told me that beauty is a package.

Onto okufumba. You may know that matooke is the staple food in Uganda, which probably explains why they are the only net exporter of maize in the region. Maize is not even grown with much zeal. Making matooke is not as straightforward as I thought: peeling bananas, putting them into water, bringing to a boil and mashing with a cooking stick once soft. No, that would make the matooke whitish, and it would also harden when you get it off the fire. Instead you do it as follows:
1) Peel the bananas, leaving them whole
2) Look for a piece of banana stem, cut it into pieces small enough to fit into a sauce pan (if a town dweller, you won’t get access to banana stems, but are likely to buy a bunch of matooke. Use the middle part, where the bananas get attached)
3) Pour water into the sauce pan
4) Put two large pieces of banana fibre (if in town, buy) onto the banana stems, making a cross.
5) Put banana leaves(have to buy if town dweller) onto the banana fibre
6) Carefully arrange the peeled bananas into the banana leaves, making them into a round shape
7) Steam for the appropriate time (~45 minutes). If you need more water, make space between the sauce pan and the banana fibre and pour it, using a cooking stick to ensure it does not come into direct contact with the bananas.
8) When cooked, knead with your bare hands.
9) Once ready, serve (along with rice/muwogo, juni etc) with groundnut paste, and/or meat beans, fish etc greens. Kneel when serving your husband.

I thought you may need to be leaving work at 3pm if you have to cook matooke like that everyday. Some people make Ugali in a similar manner, taking up a couple hours to make it properly. Apparently, if you have a big sauce pan, you could make all the different dishes in separate bundles of banana leaf wrappings and bring them all out at the same time.I mean, matooke, meat/fish, rice etc in one sufuria without mixing them. Meat made in banana leaves is called Luwoombo. It’s an art, I tell you. How does a Kenyan mama compete in such a market when your expertise is making ugali in 15-30 minutes and pushing the week? Doesn’t that also make it unviable to commercially produce matooke flour? At least for the Ugandans, it does. Kisiis, the Kenyan matooke experts, would probably buy it.

MTN Kampala Marathon

2009-11-23T09:51:00.000+03:00

The MTN Marathon has been around a few years, and it’s getting to be serious regional event. Jana I ran the 21km. It was my second as I ran the Stanchart Nairobi Marathon last year. This time I’d prepared. I improved my finish time with 15 minutes. I’m sure I’ll do better with more practice for one, two or all (I kid you not) of Safaricom Lewa Marathon, Stanchart Nairobi Marathon or MTN Kampala Marathon next year. Needless to say, Kenyans outran Ugandans. And the Ugandans who really run are Sebeis from Kapchorwa and other places in the East. Really, the Kalenjins of Uganda.

What did I like?

-It turned out a good way to keep fit. I find it easier to exercise when I am working towards a goal than doing it kiundutho. My body doesn’t hurt like last time, too. That was funny. I hadn’t done any practice, and then realized I had to come start working in Kampala the following Monday. I hadn’t been to my Nyeri village in years. So what did I do? Go to my shags on Friday, get back to town on Saturday night, wake up Sunday morning and run (rather, mostly walk) the 21 km, come to Kampala in the evening, start my job the following day, asking the receptionist if I’m walking funny. My body hurt all week. None of that today.

-A good time for me and my few, mostly Kenyan, friends in Kampala. I like their sense of humour. Like when we were waiting for the marathon to start and wanted everyone within hearing distance to know that we are Kenyan. That meant we were there for the money, but thighs don’t lie. You can tell a Kalenjin, sorry, a serious runner by their legs. And then we started saying stuff like Eldoret having been a good place to practice, Mt. Kenya being higher altitude than Kampala, having finished only a few minutes behind Jelimo, Tergat during practice season. Talk of psychological warfare. Good thing is, no one knew that one of those who had registered for 21km decided to walk 10, calling it a change of strategy. Still, it was impressive for him to ‘finish’ 21 km among the 10km finishers. The numbers on our shirts were in different colours so you could tell who was running what distance. Not that he was among the first, say, 100 to ‘finish’ the 21km

-Better shoes, so my feet don’t hurt and none of my nails died this time.

-Better logistics. Last time I got into a matatu, and got off in the middle of town since a lot of the roads were closed. I was getting late, and had to run to Nyayo stadium before starting the marathon. I was exhausted by the time I got there. Jana I arranged for the cab guy to pick us up at 5:30am. 'Us' because my buddies drove and packed at my place. Turned out we all could have slept a little more, but no loss.

-It’s cheaper to register for the MTN Marathon at UGX 6,000 (about Ksh 240) or 5,000 if you use MTN MobileMoney. Stanchart Nairobi marathon was Ksh 1,000 (~UGX 25,000).

-I can be a feel-gooder at times, and it does feel good to know that my UGX 6,000 will somewhat help in the resettlement of the people of Northern Uganda. How? Simanyi.

-Food after finishing, thanks to a friend whose former company was represented. Dude came back from Nairobi to run the marathon. People have drive.

-The souvenir MTN-branded water bottle that reminds you of FIFA 2010. MTN is an official sponsor

-Those Chinese or Japanese guys and (maybe) Ugandan driver driving slowly among the runners on the last hill in Kololo in a new sleek Nissan Navara. I wondered if you paid to market it on an MTN event.

-Who said I can’t put that on my CV?

What I didn’t like

-The prize, only UGX 5m (~Ksh 200K) for the winners. Not that I was the winner, but that doesn’t compare with Ksh 1.5m for Stanchart Nairobi Marathon, or USD 125K for the Boston Marathon the last time I checked. It’s a start, though.

-I didn’t get a cert, or a finisher’s medal like last time. I only know my finishing time because I kept it myself.

-The whole thing was a bit jua kali. The loudspeakers were not audible down at the airstrip where most people were gathered. When you finished, you went into the packed field in the air-strip, gave back your chip, and then got the bottle. Where was proof that someone actually finished? I didn’t think that was the best use for the ChampionChip. Then there were the people hustling to steal bottles
-The guy who took our pictures and my number in the morning, promising to bring back prints by the time we got back. No word till now. Ssebo, get serious.

Overall, a great event, getting better each year.

The 'Other' Woman

2009-11-13T13:40:00.000+03:00

General Kazini died in the early hours of Tuesday this week. More like, he was killed by a 28-year old woman, purported to be his mistress of 5 years. That has been the hot item in the press most of this week. Lydiah Dralu Atim claimed that she hit him with an iron bar in self defence. I hope that everyone gets justice. M7 attended the mass yesterday and was looking visibly upset on TV, saying that a lot of former soldiers die from 'wreckless living'. I felt rather sad for Phoebe Kazini, the general’s official wife, and their most adorable daughters. I mean, it’s difficult enough to deal with the loss, but the manner in which they lost him doesn’t make things easier.

Incidentally, this week I discovered Esther Passari’s website via someone I stalk on twitter, probably on Tuesday evening. On her relationships page, she talks about dropping the bombshell during the International Women’s Day about having been the hidden wife. She makes reference to living a lie, the fact that there are many 'other woman' out there and we shouldn't ignore that. The fact that kids have to live the consequences of their parents’ lifestyle made me think several times over.

The ‘living a lie’ line and General Kazini’s death got me thinking; maybe it's time to accept that these 'things' are here and will probably take a while to go away completely. For some women,and I think most men, it is a lifestyle of choice. Some women just happen to be the other woman by accident, but IMO, a lot of women actually know that a man has an wife, probably even has a document lying at Switswiller (??thanks again twitter) Amos Wako’s office, meaning that unless he gets the last D in DIVORCED done, if he is planning to, that is, he isn’t likely to marry the other woman. I’ve had men I know to be married hit on me, and once gone on a blind date, only for the guy to show up with a wedding ring on, and pics of his kidos on the phone screen. I am wrong in assuming most women know that some man is married and has no intention of leaving his official wife?

In that light, I'm kinda tired of women acting the victims most of the time. Let’s face it, women. In Kenya and Uganda, there are more heterosexual men and women than gay. Chances are if he is cheating, he is cheating with a woman. And if he is cheating with you, chances are he will cheat on you with some other woman. We can’t really call men dogs without calling a lot of women, urm, female dogs. The only victim I see here is the official wife, and, having never been married, I am not in a position to accuse them or defend them for choosing to stay, sometimes in the full knowledge that the man has a roving eye, and other organ. Thinking about it, I have no idea how I would react. When I was younger....let’s just pray and hope it doesn’t happen if I ever get married!

Aside: I was once watching Oprah and a woman was confessing to having been the 'other' woman for several years. Our culture and theirs are a bit different but it still surprised me that they found where 'she went wrong' when growing up concluding that she didn't always feel loved, and could always settle for second place. I think it's more of a personal choice than a psychological state of mind.

In other matters sexual, it would appear like we have more issues to deal with in the heterosexual community than in the gay community. Uganda may be passing what someone called the Homophobia Bill that will make it legal for someone to be jailed if they are assisting a gay person. Kenya is passing another one that will let a man marry more than 1 wife (outside Muslim and traditional marriages, where they do, currently) legally in a civil marriage on one condition: he tells the first wife before he marries her. IMO, that’s a practical take on the reality of sexuality in Kenya. I hope that they will require some hard evidence like signed documents should the first wife want a divorce citing infidelity. Because if it’s his word against hers, many a man will say they had said so. Currently, if a woman marries a man under the customary law she can’t divorce him on that basis of marital infidelity. And it’s illegal for her to remarry, remember Kamangu and the other man?

Now, let’s go ahead and make it legal to be gay and make marriage inclusive of gay people.

The Wedding Show

2009-11-05T13:16:00.000+03:00

No, not the one on TV, but hopefully, a final rant about money. First, a disclaimer: God, please understand that I’m grateful for the opportunities you’ve given me, so please don’t take this as a complaint. I feel like I'm financilly responsible, and this post is about that. OK, I understand I should give more......but IMVHO, not for weddings! This is not out of pride but what I feel to be inconsiderate requests for money. So, shall we?

OD had one up some time ago about weddings and exploitation. I don’t publicly express my opinion about wedding committees and harambees/pre-wedding ‘parties’ for fear of losing friends, but what the heck, I will say it on blogger, I don’t approve! Juzi a colleague brought me an invitation card to be part of her wedding planning meetings that take every Thursday beginning last week till the first week of Dec. With a wedding budget to boot. The budget came to around UGX 12m, ,excluding attire for the bride, groom, page boy, flower girl and rings. I’m told this is on the lower side. I honestly felt that she was a bit inconsiderate, seeing as is it is that we haven’t known each other for six months, and they have been living together for some years. I skipped the first meeting on Thursday last week but told her jana that ‘I can’t come, but will give you what I can afford’. She was very nice and said she’ll appreciate what comes from the heart. I was tempted to say my heart is a blood-pumping organ and not a wallet nor a bank account. But social correctness dictates otherwise. I’m still debating what exact amount to give her, but honestly, it won’t be beyond a certain amount I’m too embarrassed to put on here. Call me tight-fisted. Or whatever. I digress: my place of work is a place to make money not spend it. OK, I won’t complain for when people lose relas, but when people leave, shouldn’t we just go to some place, eat, buy drinks, etc and pay instead of coughing up UGX 20,000K per person every time? I suggested the former but someone said contributing 20,000K each is more of team-work. I think it’s more of communism. Especially because I don’t like the taste of beer and think it’s unfair to order wine when the bill is split equally among all the drinkers.

Back on topic. Flash back to sometime early this year. Buddy from Nbi and I had some plans to do income-generating activities (NGO-speak, go figure) together but none of us really followed up, so I guess that particular idea died. July this year, dude calls me and says long time! Have you seen my email? We need to catch up with the plans! I say, I’m out of reach by email, will get back to you nikishasoma. Buddy calls me later, and I say, no, sijasoma niko mbali bado. And later. And then says, I can as well just tell you the content of the email over the phone. Which was: his small father (paternal uncle younger than his biological father) was admitted in hosi, needed lots of dough, his friends including those abroad and the area MP were meeting some evening etc. I think that’s the right point to ask for financial help. As in to save the victims life, not to bury them. To cut the story short, when sending my mum her monthly allowance (yes, that’s how we roll, not the other way round), I ask her to M-Pesa Buddy some small amount, which she did but he didn’t acknowledge until I called to ask if he got the money? Well, he later acknowledges receipt via an email to say thank you, and there is a harambee to clear the hospital bill.

Week of October 17th. I’m in matatu, just passing through industrial area on my way to work. Buddy calls to say long time and have I read his email? I say, not yet, will read nikifika job and get back. So I come and the email says just that: long time, we need to catch up. Buddy catches up with me via chat and informs me he is going to see his future in-laws on 17th October, and then they will know when the wedding will be. Please pray for me and give me moral support and assist me in any other way that God will help you. So I promise to pray. I actually think it’s not culturally right to ask a mama for money to pay dowry. Well, he didn’t ask for money; I could have interpreted ‘any other way’ the wrong way.

Then jana. I catch up with Buddy on chat and ask how did the the ruracio go? He says, very well, in fact I should send you videos when they are out. After the niceties I ask when’s the wedding? 28th this month, I have asked the secretary to send invitation cards and I understand he hasn’t sent them: you are invited. Why don’t you stand by me at this time of need? Can you be part of my planning committee? I say, well, I’m in UG and wasn’t planning on travelling to +254 before Dec, so, sadly, I may not even make the weddo. Reply: the meetings are virtual, by sms and email only. At this point I want to say, cut the chase and use plain Gikuyu....ureenda mbeca cigana? But you see, I’m getting better by the day at being diplomatic. So eventually, I say, well, that’s a bit of a short notice on my side (he says 3 weeks is sufficient, in fact, that’s the regular time interval to invite people for a wedding. I think he forgets he’s asking me to be part of the committee). I can’t really make it, especially because it comes in with less than a month to the weddo, halafu it’s also within the same month (translation: yenyewe I’ve already spent some of my November money and don’t think this is a reasonable enough request to disrupt my budgetary plans for the rest of November).

Guys, weddings rarely, actually never, come by surprise. I imagine people know they’ll have a wedding at least several months before the date. Let’s stop abusing the harambee spirit. What’s wrong with having as much wedding as you can afford, really? See, I don’t think I’m going to be part of the crowd of friends and family contributing 350K when you have 300K when you could have been married with 13K after ‘buying’ the wife, aka paying dowry. I'd hate to be the one raising the money but not being invited for the wedding. An expensive wedding doesn’t make you any more married than a cheap one, much the same way a cheap funeral makes doesn’t make you any less dead. School fees and medical emergencies I will understand, but a weddo, please! Am seriously probably not going to give anyone else money for a wedding. (Hey you, hope this hasn’t made you change your mind about 20th Dec, si ndiyo?-or is it au sio?)Nitakuja bridal shower,baby shower, etc.

To use OD’s friends words, it’s your responsibility and if you can’t afford a wedding, please consider putting off the marriage coz marriage is more expensive than a wedding.

"Chikuyu or Ruo?"

2009-11-04T13:55:00.000+03:00

50th post today-that’s a milestone.

I often get reminded of times when Ethiopians in DC would ask ‘Habesha?’ when I was waiting for the bus or train. Apparently DC has the biggest concentration of Ethiopians outside Addis Ababa. This happened more often when I was spotting some curly black hair extensions. After a while I got to know that meant ‘Ethiopian?’ and would respond ,” No, I’m Kenyan”. I read that Ethiopia used to be called Abyssinia (?) way back, but I think Ethiopians (used to?) call it Habesha.
Interestingly, some Ugandans think I look like a Munyarwanda . I feel kinda flattered :0). Some guy in Nairobi once told me the only reason he’d go work in Addis is because of the beautiful women.

Lakini the one that initially used to surprise me is when I tell someone I’m Kenyan and they go , “Chikuyu or Ruo”. The letter K is often pronounced as ‘Ch’ in Luganda (and the G as ‘J’ hence ‘Mijingo’-but not Ujanda). Like us Agikuyu, many Baganda (and I think Banyankole, too) replace the L with the R in many words. I haven’t come across an R in Luganda, and there is no L in Gikuyu. I guess that’s where it comes from. I feel no offense when people ask me about my tribe, so I will promptly say “Chikuyu”. It’s the “Chikuyu or Ruo?” that gets to me. Because I think many non-Kenyans only knew about Kikuyus and Luos just because of the 2007 elections aftermath. Sasa, I can’t claim to know what tribes are in what countries. I know there are Dinkas, Madis and Nuers in Sudan because I had a Sudanese room-mate, there are Shonas in Zimbabwe because Mugabe and Makoni are Shonas :0), Zulus and Xhosas in SA and Igbos in Nigeria because they are popular, Oromos and Amharas in Ethiopia because I had a Ethiopian school-mate (and read Michela Wrong’s ‘I Didn’t do It for You’) Sukumas and Chaggas in Tanzania because I had a Chagga/Kikuyu friend in college. But I think it’s a shame I forgot or don’t know what tribes my other African friends were from, and haven’t bothered to find out what tribes occupy which countries.

I also thought a colleague was a tad bit more ignorant when she asked me why Kenyans fought when there are only two tribes (Chikuyus and Ruos) whereas they have so many tribes in Uganda yet don’t fight. Well, if you know any history, you know that they have had more and longer fights in Uganda than in Kenya. Only that they were not along tribal lines. In fact, Baganda helped M7 because he recognized their kingdom and those of others, when Obote had abolished all tribal kingdoms in the 60s. He recently officially recognized the Rwenzururu Kingdom. And some guy who was working as a nurse’s aide in the U.S. is the King. Talk of tables turning.

The most interesting but not surprising is that we fight over our identity yet our origins are the same. You can’t convince me that a Mugisu in Uganda is different from a Bukusu in Kenya, or a Japadhola in Uganda and a Luo in Kenya, or a Sebei in Uganda and a Kalenjin in Kenya, or a Maasai in Tanzania and a Maasai in Kenya. So I think tribe is over-rated. Or underated, depending on who you ask.

Here’s some Luganda for you:

Leeta-Bring
Twaala-Take
Olulimi-Tongue
Omutwe-Head
Okugulu-Leg
Mukono-Arm
Liiso/Maaso-Eye(s)
Omugongo-Back
Geenda-go
Okuja-to come
Okugula-to buy
Okulya-to eat
Okunywa-to drink
Amazi-Water
Makala-charcoal
Sente-pesa
Mbwa-dog
Mbuzi-goat
Kapa-cat

Some two words in Kinyarwanda

Menya-know
Hamwe-together
Izina-Name
Orugendo rwiza-safari njema
Ijana-One hundred

Yeah, we are totally different, aren’t we?

ONE YEAR OF UG

2009-10-28T16:49:00.000+03:00

On Monday 26th October, it was one year since I finished the Stanchart Nairobi Marathon (actually it was 21km, and I mostly waked, finishing in....sisemi!), got on the 5:45pm Fly540 flight and came to Kampala to start my consultancy, which culminated in an employment offer in February. One year seems to have gone by fast. I seem to have fallen in love with numbering stuff, but here are my impressions, in a nutshell:
1) It’s beautiful, greenly so. Earlier this month when I was coming from Mombasa, you could see the soil in the park from the air. Even the islands on the Kenyan side of L. Victoria were brown. Soon as you’re on the UG side, you go green with envy.
2) Good food. Chips and chicken is not considered to be food: it’s a snack
3) Nice people. I imagine people treat ‘strangers’ than Kenyans would
4) It’s safe, much safer than Nairobi, maybe than my village. I’ve walked at night, never had my pocket picked, never been mugged. I pray it remains this way
5) Kalina potential potential...that’s a line from Moze and Weazle (local musicians/ ‘celebs’). I feel like there are opportunities to make lots of money in this place. Housing...food (the place is productive and the food generally expensive, I think there are lots of inefficiencies one can take advantage of). The farthest West I’ve gone is Hoima (potentially, oil place), been to Katuna (UG-RW border), Malaba and Busia to the East, but never been to the North, though I plan to before going back home. I see a lot of opportunities all over.
6) Party republic: it may just be that I never have been a Nairobist for real. I mean, the longest I’ve been in Nairobi is like two months each time, once while studying for the GMAT. Other times I was chasing my passport or lost ID for a couple weeks, or checking on my HELB loan. Maybe that’s why Kampala looks like City of Fun because I haven’t quite experience the City in the Sun that way. There do seem to be quite a few events going down (in K’la) most of the weekends. Ekijjulo kya Record TV, Ekikompola kya Dembe FM, ekisomething kya someone else etc. Myriad album launches. The Kenyans in here too seem to know how to get down, too. Or, am getting old!
7) It’s expensive. More than Nairobi. I buy (brown) bread for UGX 1600
(~Ksh 64). The Blue Band margarine that goes for Ksh 85 bob in Nai retails for UGX 2500 (~Ksh100) over here. Quite a bit of stuff on supermarket shelves is from Kenya, a lot from further away. Did I say housing is expensive? I am comparing what you’d pay for a certain amount and what you’d get for an equivalent amount in Nairobi. This makes Nairobi attractive. Plus there’s more ‘stuff’ of my kind that goes on over there.

FIVE-YEAR STRATEGIC DREAM

2009-10-15T17:59:00.000+03:00

I’m normally wary of calling plans ‘plans’ because I’m afraid of feeling like I failed, or being seen to have failed. So even when I’m very keen on doing something I either won’t tell it to all and sundry or if I do say something to someone, will put it thus: I “may be doing this or that around that time”, “hopefully will do this” etc. I’ve learned that that’s not too uncommon. There is the bit that is beyond my control, hence the ‘mays’ and ‘hopes’. In come hopes and dreams.

Here we go. In the next five years I hope to have (not in any particular order:
1) Two or three kids- there’s quite some brood pressure, especially from my mum. I happen to be the first-born and my younger brother and sister each have a toi. But that’s not the driving force. I heart kids. Tene I used to think that I’d want to have just one. Now, maybe more.
2) A man, hopefully (there we go again) a husband. One devoted man that I’ll be living with, whatever that arrangement will be called.
3) A satisfying spiritual live. Me and my religion have been going through phases.
4) A profitable business
5) My finances in order-the student loans not much of a deal
6) Become a seasoned SE trader, locally and otherwise
7) Become a CFA. I’ve postponed/thought about this long enough. I hate studying (for exams)
8) A body that’s 10 years younger than my age LOL
This is not a pipedream, it’s a plan! There, I’ve said it. So help me God.

PS: some dude who’s close to 4 years my junior once told me to:
A) Not to hope but plan to do something. Hopes get diminished, plans get accomplished
B) Just do it (“you know, like Nike, there’s no trying”)

Another One, This Time Funny-Raymond Chepkwony

2009-09-30T17:26:00.000+03:00

Discovered Raymond Chepkwony via a link from @inteligensia on twitter today.

I'm enjoying his sense humour (no, I'm not a pervert, and it's not in that bad taste),though if you dig deep you'll get one post on the meaning of life. I dig the one on the proposed marriage bill he had up today. The money, baby, the money!

Meanwhile, some men over here are hating on the proposed marriage and divorce bill(if that's what it's being called) in UG because it will split stuff 50:50 between the Ssebo and his Nyabo in case of a divorce. Another Ssebo tells me he's waiting for it to pass before he can get married because it will illegalize dowry. That's like 50:50 already if you ask me.

Nice versus Confident

2009-09-26T12:15:00.000+03:00

Still seeing what others say on dating and relationships :O) But I don't intend to say much more on my personal stuff, what's happening or not going to happen after today's sneak peek.

Today I found an interesting one on why women don't feel excited by nice guys. I'm not sure I agree with everything, but I'm with the her on confidence.Nice guys don't always look it.

It was a nice day when I realized that I loved jerks. Current guy is nice, but would do with some money. It's a case of new money. Actually more like no money. I'm not lost on potential though. I feel sad that I just wrote that, but I'm gonna keep it because I mean it. I don't think I'm materialistic. Lord knows I'm just being practical.

He could also gain some confidence. Did I mention he's 4 months my junior? Many people think ako na roho safi. I can attest to it. Helps that we were friends for 4+ years bila mambo ya mapenzi. I guess namjua kiasi on a regular day.

One thing I like about dating 'back home' is that 'the rules' are clearer, if there any. Like, you can ask a guy earlier on about kids than you would a guy in the West. In my opinion, the question here is not if he wants to have kids, but what if they don't show up? I already asked! I was thinking of my work buddy 'Kawiira' who told me that she started trying to get pregnant immediately following the Kwanjula (official introduction of The Man to her family, a ruracio of sorts) in September last year . By wedding day in November, The Man was under pressure from his friends; how could he marry a girl who was not pregnant? How did he know she'd him bear kids? She was really stressed. Thankfully, she's due in a month or so.

Also feel like over here, you don't have to play too hard to get if you're interested. I could be wrong on that lakini. Sababu my best jamaa friend was telling me last night that he likes it when women are 'mysterious'.Is why he never saw again a girl who spent the night at his place, did general cleaning the following day and introduced herself to the neighbours as The Girlfriend.

But he also said something weird when I was telling him about nice guys and 'manly men': that all women want to be domineered 'it doesn't matter if she is Angela Merkel!' Hmmm, really?!? All I'm asking for is a nice guy who is confident and can provide direction. I'm with the Bible (and conservative and African 'values') on this one; he should be the head. Many guys here want to be asses; they just want to sit on you.

I asked the Ssebafuruki in a nice voice if he'd help me do the dishes? And could he make the tea while I made the omelette? He obliged. I sure hope that's sustainable if this lasts.

Right now the Money issue is occupying my mind more than it probably should. We'll see.

Furaha ya Idd...

2009-09-21T22:56:00.000+03:00

...inakufanya usahau hakuna likizo. I didn't go to work today, not because I planned not to. I spoke with my colleague on Friday on my way from Busunju. At the end of the conversation I said "Tulabagane Monday" (tuonane Monday) and the guy told me that Monday would be Idd. Banange I was so happy I told my other colleague that K., who had been fasting, said Monday would be a public holiday. But yesterday it was obvious that Idd was then, not today. But with my Kenyanness, it meant that when a holiday falls on a Sunday, you've got Monday off.

The Ssebafuruki was in town from Kigali. Leo afty we went into town and were coming back kindu 5pm when I noticed that both vehicular and human traffic were as bad as on a regular work day. Posta seemed to have been open. I commented to the Ssebafuruki that I might be the only one who had a holiday. Fikaing home, I found my neighbour driving into the garage. So I called two of my colleagues and they told me that today was a working day. So kesho I am going to kusema pole sana. I will bill those hours to my vacay time, which I'm likely not to use kabisa.

Relationships, Kids, Love, Marriage and Landing a Rich East African Husband

2009-09-14T17:12:00.000+03:00

I think I'm in love-again! I rarely talk about 'these things'. See, I've been here before. I've been in and out of love several times, the high highs, the low lows, kila kitu. I'm even not sure I believe in The One. That's kinda like pre-destination, which I don't buy entirely.

But I've been reading more on love on other people's blogs and sites as you can tell from my list. I'm finding church more interesting when they talk about relationships between men and women, marriage, and family. I guess I'm trying to peek into the next chapter of my life, if life comes in phases. But I have to write it! Basically I'm feeling that I'm now done with school (Msichana wa Sura Nzuri...Daudi Kabaka?), have lived by myself for some reasonable time now, so guess I know myself,yeah? There must be more to my personal life than working paying off student loans, the electiricity bill, trying to figure out how to make more money, hanging out with friends and talking with and occasionally visiting with family. Plus, I'm already 31-you know all that stuff they say about (women) getting kids by the time you're 35! Still, I'm worried that I'm not really sure what I want relationship-wise. Man-woman. Loving one guy exclusively is wonderful. I worry about long-term, till-death-do-us-part kind of commitment.But I'm sure I want kids, and the other major benefit of having a man in my life. I don't have to be married for those, do I? Anyway, I kinda like dating guys whose parents have it together after so many years, though that can be deceptive. In our setting many women are in marriages juu they're bila choice. I'm strongly feeling that since we have copied other people's way of living, marrying and divorcing (probably even dying) ,it's about time we copied prenups if we haven't already. I think those help. Otherwise, living together for a year or twenty before signing those documents doesn't sound like a bad idea to me.

Anyway, Kaasa had an interesting one on landing a rich African husband. Here's herMsichana Unataka Nini post. To use her words, go ask God for what you really want, whether you think you deserve it or not. She seems to have bagged her very own Mr. Hot-really hot, interlligent and monied.

Didn't work? Here's ehow's How to Marry a Man with Money. Apparently the ones with the money don't brag about it, and want to see the mother of their kids in you. You can also make a millionaire out of a moneyless guy. Young guy, new money, a lot less baggage. As if anything's guaranteed after you both make the money.

Most importantly, I don't want to just go along and end up
marrying Mr. Wrong 1! Nor Mr. Wrong 2

I'm also listening more to married people and occasionally hear 'marriage can stressful!' 'Fikiria sana usijifunge'. Tying the knot and fungain pingu za maisha here conjure up some pretty bad images.

Good thing is, whatever turn I take, I know what I want, and what I'm offering. So help me God.

Self-Centredness is........

2009-09-11T18:21:00.000+03:00

........when you only see things from your point of view. But where else can you see from?
Because of the riot, am spending yet another night and weekend alone. The Man was to come from Kigali, but they were burning buses on the Kampala-Masaka-Kigali road. He does look like a 'Westerner', so we put safety first. I'm more lonely than scared.

Pole to those that have lost friends and relatives in this madness. Hopefully it will be better after tomorrow.

I'm for Separation of Tribe and State

2009-09-11T11:01:00.000+03:00

In my comments section when I was thinking about investing in Uganda, Tumwi said that the tribal hullabaloo in Uganda is exaggerated. I beg to differ. Because she admitted that she never got this memo . Nor this one.

Tribes and Tribal Kingdoms

I won’t pretend to know much about tribes or tribal relations in Uganda. I will admit feeling some bit of envy over the fact that Ugandans in general seem to have kept much of their cultural traditions long after colonialism. But unlike Kenya, Uganda was a protectorate as opposed to a full-fledged colony, so maybe that’s why. By cultural traditions, I mean tribal kingdoms that are fully recognized by everyone else, though largely ceremonial. Like a Kabaka (King of Buganda), Kyabazinga (King of Busoga) etc. It’s all beautiful.
But cracks start to appear when one kingdom starts to seek autonomy from the bigger one, and the Central government is accused of having a hand in it. In my opinion, the central government should steer clear of tribal affairs, and tribal representatives should remain that way. No King, elder or whatever designation, should be allowed to participate in central government appointments. Go be a king, be catered to and be happy. Central government should also steer clear of tribal kingdoms. That’s my opinion. But what do I know?

I know that the need for autonomy is the reason we have Ethiopia and Eritrea. I also know that tribal violence does not start on Election Day, or the day after. Or the day people decide to clear ‘cockroaches’, weeds, madoadoa, or Bafuruki out of the face of the country. If history is anything to go by, stereotypes exist and are embedded in society with time. Like the Baganda believing that they are more civilized because they interacted with white people first (driver telling me), or are more economically advanced (guide at Mengo's Kabaka palace telling me). Or the Banyankole are more blessed because they have godly names as opposed to Baganda, who give clan names (friend telling me), and are more hardworking that the Baganda (someone else telling me). At some point, they are linked to how these tribes are doing economically. Politicians then prey on peoples' misperceptions of others and before you know it, ethnic cleansing is well on its way. Especially around election time, at lease in Kenya.
The presidential election in Uganda is in 2011. You’ve been warned. By a Mufuruki.

On a lighter note, I’m looking to pair up with a fellow Mufuruki who is willing to be to be coronated the Ssebafuruki. Any takers?

ONE YEAR OF 'BACK HOME'

2009-09-08T11:20:00.000+03:00

Haiya,it's been a year already.

What has got better

• Closeness to family and hooking up with old friends. Going home more frequently
• I have a job that I love
• Cheap organic food
• Nice people, (in Uganda at least), generally
• New friends,new language (that's very similar to Gikuyu and Kiswahili)
• No winter, leaving and returning home when it’s dark outside
• Low bills. $10/month for electricity and $5/month for water. Now am not paying for water
• The profit potential
• And then some

What has got worse
• Death. Lost 2 relatives this year, the Mungiki massacre. Have also been to two funerals with work colleagues, and other colleagues have lost people and I haven’t been able to go. At least two meetings have been cancelled because someone has died and there is okuziika. The frequency has made me a bit of a worrier.I hope to live long, seems planning is not enough. An idea comes to mind. Creative people are making making a living out of the death industry. It's sure, and it's recession-proof.
• Blackouts, H2O rationing in Nairobi
• Traffic. In Kampala, Boda Bodas don’t help with that
• Bad customer service, if existent. Not being able to return stuff once I’ve paid for it
• The poverty that I see, or the manifestation of it

What I miss
• My friends and ‘family’, those who saw me in my good and bad times
• Good customer service. Being entitled as opposed to being treated like someone’s doing you a favour when you give them business
• Reliable power, water, things generally working efficiently. You know when the train comes
• People who take responsibility when they screw things up
• Open-mindedness, even at church. Now you know I didn’t commit to the fundamentalist world view
• Springtime and Summertime, my mind and moods popping up with the flowers, the sun setting late

What has changed
• I’ve blogged more. This is my 21st post this year. I did 17 in 2008, 1 in 2007.
• I am no longer dating ‘Chorge’. He is a great guy, I enjoyed his sense of humour (“you know in Kisii we can never go jogging in the mornings or evenings, especially if it’s (still) dark. Someone may think we are night runners and we end up getting lynched”), and a perfect body. Won’t delve into the details of my current state of affairs. Stay tuned
• I am more assertive, and that can be a bad thing sometimes. I am working on being nice about it
• I’m no longer deeply religious and don’t want to be. I’m a Christian, yes and I’m working on getting my relationship with God back on track. Guess who had moved?

Sad

2009-09-02T09:16:00.002+03:00

I passed up a chance to show love last Christmas. They made an attempt but I was cold and distant. Now they are gone. I feel horrible.
My father was not a good father/husband, but he is definitely a good person. And my mum? She is the truest reflection of God in my world.I am older than my brother and sister, but clearly, they are way wiser than me. I wonder if it comes with marriage and/or parenthood? My uncle was telling me last night that people get wiser as they get older, but clearly that hasn't applied to me, at least compared with my siblings.

RIP G. I pray you understand. And I promise to be different with the rest of us.

Facebooking

2009-08-31T17:00:00.000+03:00

Over at kwa Wambui, I was reading a post she has on Kenyans and Facebook. nteresting.

I felt like the oldest person on Facebook when I signed up in the fall of 2005. At least that's what it seemed like back then. The dude who introduced me to the site was 23 (I was 27) and everyone else seemed to either be an undergraduate student, or graduated from college the previous year. That was then. Not any more.People older than my parents are on there. Even organizations as big as Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, just to mention one.

It's nice reconnecting on facebook with people you haven't met in the 10+ years since seco, get to know who married who, has kids (the wildest gal in our class is a mother and no one seems to believe it), who switched religions,etc. And meet new ones. I once met a a jamaa that I had an immense crush on through a conference that I only knew about because of facebook. (And dated another one that I met on graduates.com......am I weird or what?)

One of the biggest inhibitions I find when using Facebook is that I use my real-life names and pictures, so it's not like I can blurt out something like "I want my boss's job!". That may not be professionally savvy especially since some of my collegues, local and regional, are also my facebook friends. I remember posting an update about (possibly, back then) losing my religion and getting feedback from some unexpected corners. I wish I could choose who sees my status updates!

But here are some of my 'rules' on facebook:

1. I'm probably never putting my relationship status on there. I started with 'It's complicated' (and it was in real life, then) and stuck to it for a year or so. In real life things may be getting less complicated now. But still, were I to update my relationship status every time it changed in the past 4 years, I could have been 'in a relationhip', 'single' and 'it's complicated' for---never mind how many times. I don't want to have to explain each time.

2. I try to not live on face-book, though it's tempting enough. I feel like there are people out there who do. Like: I'm now feeding my cat, I'm riding my bike, I'm making chapati, I'm in a matatu, just killed a mosquito with my bare hands, going to see grandmother, going to take a shower. You get the feeling their virtual lives are more interesting than their real lives- do I make sense? But well, there are pictures to prove that's not the case...still, I don't want my whole life on facebook!

3. I try to not bring my 'issues' on facebook. With some friends, you know they are having baby-daddy drama by what they post kila siku. Man-hating,the philosophical statements, the works.

4. I try to project a positive and balanced view and attitude. Fake, it may be, but well, it's like interacting with real people. You don't want to have a long face when interacting with your friends in real life simply because you're having a bad day either. Again, there are people who party on facebook all the time or go to church all the time. You can almost 'know' someone from what their status updates.I know I've formed opinions on people based on them.

5. I've never been facebook friends with people I've dated, my siblings or half-siblings. Not even sure the last two categories are on there. I don't think I'd be with my parents if they were technologically savvy either-they are sooo not.

6. I don't want to get automated emails each time a friend updates their status or changes their relationship status. That clogs my inbox which I can hardly keepo up with. Neither do I want my friends receiving such emails. Or notifications.

7. I delete wall posts and comments on my profile that I don't like-because I like having a wall and want people to comment but don't want people bringing issues that I have decidedly left out of my profile.

Do you have facebook rules?

I got this link from Wambui's comment section: Here's to managing your online life once your're dead. From there, went on to realize why your facebook relationship status is complicated. Oh, and try using facebook in Kiswahili, as Cee asked on my previous post. Utapenda. Not sure why 'Grad School' remains 'Grad School' in the Kiswahili language setting. I suggest 'Chuo Kikuu Zaidi'.

Connecting People in Kiswahili

2009-08-24T14:06:00.000+03:00

I got one new K-series phone on Saturday. A friend calls the cheap phones the K-series because almost every network has a ka- before the name they christen the cheapie. There is the Kabiriti from MTN (some ZTE-made phone) ka-tikitiki or something from UTL, and my new ka-tochi (some Nokia so called juu iko na torch).

I was trying to do away with their suggested spellings when typing out SMSs but couldn’t figure out how in a short time. I thought choosing Kiswahili as my language may be a good way to get rid of the suggestions. Not really, but I’m more surprised by how much more Kiswahili the programmers know that I don’t. Stuff like Kihesabu Ujumbe (bado sijajua nini hii), Rajisi ya Simu (call log), kikokotoo (must be calculator from the picture) mifumo, mipangilio ya kitufe cha kucha....kulia, safisha (clear) na kadhalika. Kwa sasa, nataka kurejesha mpangilio wa kiwandani for a while but alama ya siri ina makosa.

Meanwhile, from Kahenya, ati this is what an Equity Bank ATM reads in Gikuyu.

I dig LKW

2009-08-18T15:26:00.000+03:00

Just discovered Tart and Soul. Clearly, she has guts to say stuff that I can't say on here. Loving it.

To Invest or Not to Invest All?

2009-08-05T08:29:00.000+03:00

I've been thinking of putting some or all of my money in Uganda. Unfortunately, the political risk may be quite high though UG has been generally stable over the past 23 years of Museveni, if you ignore the northern region (which most people have, IMO).

The fact that there is an election in 2011 puts everything in a different perspective. There's already some talk of some tribes being at risk , and possible violence during the elections. Land, too is an issue. Call me pessimistic, but I can't ignore what happened in Zimbabwe, Kenya and xenophobic South Africa. I've to imagine the worst case scenario, even as I plan and hope for the best outcome. Yesterday, the Vice President's team survived a mob while trying to evict people from some land

I'm not about to close my 401 (K) account-not that I've that much saved, anyway- and invest it all here. Portions of my salary, maybe.

NEW AGE RESOLUTION

2009-08-03T10:27:00.000+03:00

I’m now solidly in my thirties-wah, 31, na hizo miaka zinasonga! The b/day was jana but I didn’t have a chance to celebrate properly-too much going on. But will have a make up in the coming weeks.

I fulfilled one of my goals just one day to the birthday.
One of my lesser goals for rest of the year is to be tidier-neat desk, no clothes on the floor, and no asking myself everyday “Now, what am I wearing today?” because I can’t find anything that doesn’t need ironing.

And dude, thanks for that MP3 player. Really helpful on a 12-hour bus ride, especially when the herbalist is selling concoctions that can cure everything.

ROBBERY WITHOUT VIOLENCE-KAMPALA EDITION

2009-07-31T14:25:00.000+03:00

This has happened to me twice, and both times I’ve come out feeling like I’m a saint. Until this morning, that is.

1st Time

It must have been January or February. I’m walking on Kampala road, from the Jinja Road junction towards the Bank of Uganda. At Commercial Plaza outside KCB, I decide to cross to the other side, near Krystal Forex Bureau. There are two guys walking in front of me, one about one or two steps behind the first one. Soon, the first guy accidentally drops an envelope on drops to the ground, and I can see a few Uganda Shillings bills protruding from the edges. But the ‘dropper’ moves on, the guy behind him picks it up and tries changing direction. So I try to alert the dropper that he has lost his money, by which time he has crossed the road and is walking towards Rift Valley Railways. In the meantime, the guy who picked up the money is trying to convince me to leave him alone, so we can share the find. Being the good woman, I quickly walk after the guy who dropped the money, show him the guy who picked it up, and off they go. I’m left feeling like maybe he’s not the one who dropped it, guy number two was plain lucky and maybe we should have just split it between the two of us. After all, these guys seem to be off to somewhere discreet, away from the people who just observed all that drama, and I’m the fool. But, character is what you are when no one’s watching, right? So I feel a level gooder than the rest of you.

2nd Time
That was last night. I’m moving to my new place (yes, again!) and so have to go read the electricity and water metres at my old place so we can settle everything with the landlady, and she can give me my deposit back. It’s about 9:30pm. The matatu guys decide they are not taking two people into town, so decide to stop somewhere in Old Kampala. This is Kampala, and it’s waaayyyy safer than Nairobi. So I decide to walk down to the matatu stage to get a matatu to my new place. Near the Masaka Fridge Sales shop, I catch up with two guys. Like before, they are walking very close to each other. Soon enough, an envelope drops, this time with loads more money. Within no time, the dropper is on the other side of the street, and guy number two has picked it. Yes, you guessed it. I call out to the dropper who doesn’t seem to hear me at first. This is like 9:40pm and the streets are a lot less crowded, almost deserted but I can’t think like that. I’m that good, you know? I mean, the currency here is rather bulky; it could be the guys whole days’ worth of work or more, God must have made the matatu to not come into town so I could save this guy from this misfortune. Same as before, guy number two picks up the envelope and tries to convince me to just share the spoil with him quietly. Soon enough, the dropper realizes he doesn’t have his money and comes back to us. I’m trying to tell him, “ Ssebo, ono musajja alina sente zo. Umeangusha akachukua” (Sir, you dropped your money, this guy has it). But he’s too confused to hear that and starts walking back up towards the mosque mumbling about some two women who must have stolen his money. Guy number two is still telling me to keep quiet, it’s a lot of money, it’s all gonna be all ours. For the second time, the dropper walks back towards us, confused. Before he gets to us, guy number two tells me that that’s quite some money and this is Kampala: there are many bayaye (conmen)and he could lose his money so shouldn’t we look for some safe place to give it to him? By the time the dropper gets to us, he has calmed down a bit and can actually listen to me, and guy number two reluctantly gives him his money. The dropper says “Thank you Madam, let me give you something small”. But, being the good woman that I am, I say, “No thanks, it’s OK, really, usijali” So dropper walks away, back up towards the mosque again. Being the good woman, I’m afraid that guy number two could try to unleash his frustration on me, so I jump on a boda boda and tell the driver to drop me off on Kampala road. I go home to my new place feeling like a saint.

This morning I come in and narrate my experience to a colleague, who tells me I should have just kept quiet. I’m thinking, and just split the money? No, stupid, that’s how people get robbed here. Apparently these guys are a team. Guy number two would have asked me to give him something small, anything, in exchange for the envelop with all that money, which, by the way, is full of paper and a few bills on the sides. Another colleague tells me that he’d have asked me to go to a secluded place to share the find, and then they’d have robbed me dry. Anyway, they robbed me of a chance to be good people. Kumbe I’m that stupid? I surprised even myself. Next time, I’m just gonna pull my lips forward suck in lots of air and say ,”Shya!”

Reading the Big Print

2009-07-29T10:31:00.000+03:00

It would appear that some HR pros don't read the HR manual they hand out to you the moment you accept an offer. Someone tells you that you can't take your annual leave until you've worked for a year. To you it implies that you would have 42 days days off the following year.But you refer to the manual which says you can have your days off after the probabtion period-which is 6 months.

Your benefits are taxable, no problem. Someone says it works thus: Total taxes= [30%(gross income + taxable benefits) + UGX 45,000]. Meaning you're worse off with the benefit. Refer to the manual, and there is another way. In fact, Schedule 5 Income Tax Act says you have two options, the lesser of the two being the tax (Thanks, buddy!). At worst, you're at the same level as when the benefit was not there.

Next on my to-read list: the constitution.

Wired

2009-07-28T11:36:00.000+03:00

I've realized that I spend a bit of time on the Internet kazini-not sure if it's necessarily all good or all bad.

Kila asubuhi nikifika job naenda FB, halafu blogger (Bankelele is my favourite, especially because the quality of his posts plus he has a lot on his list so I have a quick look on what everyone's saying), halafu twitter. FB ni mara kadhaa kwa siku. Halafu I have several email addresses, mbili za marafiki (with my nick name-short of first name- and middle name at gmail and at yahoo) na mbili za kutafuta job officially (first full name dot last full name kwa yahoo na gmail), na mbili za job (kampuni na project specific). Na bado nasoma gazeti na vinginevyo. Takes quite some time. No wonder I can't tweet (why is the verb different from the,er noun? As in tweeting on twitter) enough.

'Emergency' Planning and Camel Milk Chocolate

2009-07-22T08:43:00.000+03:00

Yenyewe I just have to rant yet again. OD was talking about the water shortage in Nairobi which is of course accompanied by stima rationing, which of course means that some people are not working as much as they should, and that others have had to increase the cost of working/doing business and contributed to pollution by using diesel powered generators. The likelihood of cholera and other dirty water-related diseases breaking out is not unrealistic.

Now most people have turned to God for the rains, which is all cool. I pray, too. But praying is the least we can do. I was telling OD that if the Almighty sends the rains right now, and there's flooding, we'll be back asking him to send a little sun our way. We'll be very surprised, though we had lots of time to build dykes and all. And the roads will be impassable, though we could have worked on them while the sun shone. We could and should invest in alternative sources of energy for when the Ndakaini dam runs dry, but somehow, we beleive it will be there forever, it seems.

Shida kubwa is that we as a country/region rarely plan and love to blame someone else for our shidas. Like I said, praying is great, but the Almighty has in fact given us power to rule our universe, but we've mess it up and it's very unforgiving; it messes us up back. I somehow understand how it is that it's God who makes the rain, but I'm not lost on the fact that we don't do our part. We don't plan for much other than elections. Yaani after '02, folks start scheming for '07, after that '12, but nothing for the other stuff in-between. It's like somehow, the rains will come, and there will be food. It's amazing how drought surprises us when it happens, which is becoming once every two-three years. There was draught in 97, 2000, 2006, and now 2009. Meaning it's predicatable, and we can and should plan for when (not if) it occurs. It's likely to happen again in the next 5 years, but we're likely to be oh so surprised when it does.

What would we do if we were the ones who had long winters and super hot summers, die? What if we are the ones who lived in desserts? As I write this, someone is exporting camel milk chocolate from Dubai. I don't love to hate myself or be too hard on myself, but maybe we are the way we are because we don't have these extremes.

Child Sacrifice in UG - The Narrow Road: Rose's Journey

2009-06-19T16:48:00.000+03:00

There were stories when I was growing of strangers kidnapping people and cutting off their tongues to be used as ingredients in concortions used as cures in withcraft. Once in the late 80s, my grandmother and I visited my uncle in boarding school. We were offered a ride back into town by a stranger. My grandmother was quiet all the way till we got out, at what point she thanked the man sana for the ride. When we got home, she told my mum that she was worried because she thought the stranger was after our tongues. That was funny at the moment. So was the other time when she was in a bus and she heard a fellow passenger talk about how someone or other had taken her 'jini'. When she kujad home, she narrated how she had traveled in the same bus with a person who kept genies. My mum explained that the said person was probably referring to jeans-like a jeans jacket, skirt, or pair of trousers. That, too, was funny. I've also heard stuff about people sacrificing others to the devil to get rich. Devil worship in short. Scary, though I doubt the devil could ever make anyone rich.

When I got to Kampala at the end of October last year, stories of human sacrifice were not too uncommon in the papers. Especially child sacrifice. At first I thought it was all tabloid news (to date Bukedde, a paper in the local language has pictures of dead, sometimes mutilated, bodies on the front page karibu kila siku). Halafu I started seeing them in the main newspapers and TV. Scary stuff. Then I went to Church at Namirembe cathedral one Sunday in Februray, and during sermon the priest advised folks not to let their kids go to school early in the morning when it was still dark,and to always escort them to school coz that when the butchers were on the lookout. Meanwhile, the stories coming from TZ were of albinos being sacrificed.
The first people I asked about child sacrifice here, told me that mostly it is kids who are sacrificed, virgins at that. So I felt safe-plus I have some skin pigmentation which to me meant I was even less desirable for the gods. Someone mentioned that if you have a baby boy, it may help to circumcise him, and for a girl, to pierce her ears. Then one day I somad in one of the main papers again that someone had been beaten to death by a mob juu he had taken a boda boda ride at night, only to turn on the boda boda driver guy and mutilate his body for sacrifice. That shtuad me kiasi juu I thought only kids got sacrificed.
I don't exactly like it (sometimes I get amused) when people show up in my country and talk about the issues there like 'experts', so hopefully I'm not coming off as expertish here. Rather, just telling it from my perspective.
Here is a story on child sacrifice in Uganda, and probable causes. And Rose, a person whose refusal to take part in the ritual led her to her Irish parents (few details availed), and is retracing the steps she took back in 89. All 52 km. (Thanks FaceBook friend!)

NSE from K’LA - IS THERE AN EASIER WAY?

2009-06-12T14:11:00.000+03:00

I burned my fingers with the Safaricom IPO, but I’ve been investing more in the NSE lately. The past couple months have not been that bad, but one downside is that the Kenya Shilling has appreciated quite significantly against the Uganda shilling, so I lose money even before I put in my order-1 UGX was roughly equivalent to Ksh 24 when I came here last October, but now it’s trading in the neighbourhood of Ksh 28.5. Maybe I should start exporting stuff to Kenya. Apparently the dollar has appreciated upwards of 34% since last September.

But here's how I do it:
-Go to ATM, get the money
-Go to FOREX bureau, buy Ksh
-Go to broker’s bank, deposit Ksh
-Go to broker’s office, fill out an order form or several, depending on how many different stocks I’m keen on buying
-Wait (I’m advised to call 36 hours later)
-Sometimes I’ll get an email from broker; sometimes I won’t, so I call the next day, or pass by on my way to work.
-Get the statement at broker’s office or receive an email with it. I’m still waiting for an email on how to get my statements online

I haven’t sold anything but I think the process may be easier, probably just a call, but I imagine I’d have to go and sign a form again.
What makes it hard is that banks don’t open till 8:30 am, and I need to be at work at 8am. At lunch, the queue is usually quite long (it’s Stanbic Bank, I think it has the largest piece of the pie in Kampala), and the service extremely, annoyingly slow. Whereas I could send someone else who is not too busy in the office and pay them a small fee, plus their boda boda fare, it’s not like I naturally trust people with my money that easily. I end up spreading all the errands over a few lunch hours (days), during which time the NSE is not static.
Compare this with trading on the NYSE/NASDAQ- open an account, transfer money online, put in orders and trade online any time you wish; no phone calls, no queuing up in banks, no paper filling up paper forms, and movement only on the computer keyboard.

Does anyone know of an easier way out there? Let me know, tafadhali.

Honest Scrap

2009-05-29T17:57:00.000+03:00

This post is long over-due. Thanks Maua for tagging me on the on-going Honest Scrap Awards.I deserved it.

The Rules:
1.You must brag about the award
2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger
3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
4.Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog.
5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on with the instructions!

Honest Crap (or not) About PKW

1. I love my family very much. Especially my mother, sister, brother, and now my niece and nephew, brother-in-law and sister-in-law; in no particular order. My father is a very kind and good person, and I don't dislike him at all.
2. But I have never told anyone in my family that I love them. The one time my mother told me that she loves me, indeed loves all her children very much, was when I told her that she loved my sister more than me. That was the one of those times she couldn't stop praising my sister and saying how much they (my mother and sister) looked alike.
3.I chose my blog identity when I stumbled upon Kumekucha at a time they were doing a lot of Kikuyu-bashing. But I've never blogged about my pride as a Kikuyu
4. However, I think everyone should be free to take pride in whatever they identity with, tribe being one. That's why I'd never join 'I have no Tribe' because I have one, and I mean well.Otherwise, at one point it will be trendy to have no religion, sexual orientation,race, gender,nationality/national origin, language....whatever it is that people have wrongly used to discriminate against others. It'd not be true, and I think a homogeneous world would be pretty boring.I never feel offended when people ask me what my last name is, what part of Kenya I come from, what my mother tongue is, or even more directly, what my tribe is.But I personally know it's not politically correct any more to ask other people, especially Kenyans, any of those questions, so I don't. I'm OK with your Western name if that makes you more Kenyan.
5. I prefer to remain anonymous to the extent that it is possible. I once worried that at work, people were aware that I was PKW.
6. Therefore, I have met only one person in blog world in person-a Kumekucha contributor. I intend to keep it that way.
7. If I ever need my alarm, I set it to go off about 15 minutes before I actually need to get out of bed juu I like to wake up moss moss.
8. I used to read a lot, but not much these days.
9. I don't want to be fat any more and have made peace with the size of my kabina (tanye in Luganda).
10.I work in what some would call the 'international development industry'. Problem is, it's starting to look like, well, just another industry at best, a conspiracy at worst. I promise to blog about my views once I'm not too emotional about it.

Most of these taggees have more important stuff to blog about. But I tag:

Tumwijuke
Chris of Kumekucha
Mrembo
Ssembonge
Shiko-Msa
Vikii of Kumekucha
ColdTusker

MUNGIKI AND MUKINGO WIN ANOTHER ROUND

2009-04-21T15:31:00.000+03:00

MUKINGO (UKIMWI)

Ngai, this past or so has been crazy. My cuzo M has been HIV+ for some time. I feel close to M because we were in high school at the same time, and would always hang out during the holidays, and he had a sense of humour that I really enjoyed. He’s been + for at least 2 years, but in denial for the most part. In fact, I doubt he has acknowledged his situation, and what I know is from my relatives. M has been getting quite sick and may be going downhill already. I haven’t seen him since getting back in September last year (my bad) but we’ve been talking on the phone quite often. He kinda feels lonely and deserted. So on Saturday 11th April (Easter weekend) I called my mum and told her that M feels lonely, she needs visit him etc etc. At that point she told me that even his sister is really sick. Where, I asked? Same disease. The following day, mum called to say that S, the sister, had passed away. Her body was laid to rest on Saturday the 18th. I wasn’t really close to her since she married a widower (connect the dots) when she was really young so we had no time together. But still—-it made me think how short –and difficult-her life was. She was 28.

MUNGIKI

Now that M is sick and I’ve been thinking of all the few years we shared growing up, I’ve been finding myself thinking about my late cousin named M as well. Agikuyu (Kikuyus) name all the first sons after the husband’s father, and among all my grandmother’s 12 kids, only the boys (5 of them) lived to be old enough to have kids. So we have a lot of Ms. My brother is the 5th M. The sick M is the third one, and the late M was the fourth one. He was a year ahead of me in high school, and we shared similar ambitions. We were so close that after he had passed away, my mum told me that when we were in high school, she always worried that we may ‘get married’ (read have sex). M didn’t actually pass away- he was brutally murdered by the Mungiki on the night/morning of 6th January 2003 when they terrorized Nakuru. He was 27, married with 2 kids, and lots of aspirations.
I was raised in a village in Nyeri, but we moved to Nyandarua the year I went college. I feel a bigger sense of belonging to my Nyeri village than the Nyandarua one, partly because I’ve never spent more than a month in our Nyandarua one. But that’s where my mum now lives. Mum called me this morning saying she wanted to go Nyeri because “andu ni moragirwo muno” –people have been killed too much. What, I ask? It’s the Mungiki. Mum told me that they killed M the son of G, his brother M, W the son of N, and even T the father of W, and W himself. Even K, a boy whose mother married by neighbour when K was about 4. He finished form four last year. W the son of N was in the same class as my young uncle who is two years older than me, and was married to P, my standard six best friends. Basically, all are family friends. My uncle J is moving to Nairobi to stay with my uncle K for a while.Not sure where my aunt and her young son will sleep tonight. You can read the story here and some a bit here.

I am devastated, my tribal pride hurt. Death, your sting hurts bad.

Mob Justice

2009-04-18T12:32:00.000+03:00

Yesterday I forgot my phone in the office, so I had to come get it just in case. Took a matatu to Wandegeya and was walking towards the office when I saw a crowd gathered around a shop on the road that goes to Mulago Hospital. On drawing closer, I could hear a lady screaming, so I went all the way to the front. Inside the shop was one mama with a thick stick hitting another mama who was screaming and begging, occasionally getting onto her knees. My Luganda is still a work in progress so I couldn’t tell what she was saying. At first I thought they were fighting over a man. The mama with the stick was undressing her so that one of her boobs was hanging out as she (the stick-holder) struggled to get the other mama’s skirt off. From what I could tel, some people were saying ‘don’t undress her’, while others were shouting ‘undress here!’ There was also a man standing guard at the entrance so no one could actually go in and help. From what I could gather, the lady-in-beating had stolen lots of money; in fact the stick-holding one was waving several wallets in the air, opening some and asking if she was the one in the pictures inside? Anyway, I felt sorry for the poor mama who had allegedly stolen and was now being publicly humiliated. So I requested them ‘muyitire polisi bambi’ (call the police for her, please), as were some two other men beside me. They responded that she has stolen too much and the police will do nothing, really. So ask, ‘sente meka-how much money? I can pay and you let her go with me?’ while attempting to go in and grab her arm. The dude standing by the entrance pushed me out, asking me if I know here and informing me that she has stolen far too many times. When the mama-in-beating saw I was kinda trying to help, she was like ‘nyambako bambi’-help me please. Then one dude behind me asked me ’how much do you have? She has stolen about 500,000’. Like we could bargain. Not that I walk around Ksh 20K in my wallet, but even I doubted the guy was the one she stole from. Anyway, I got out of the crowd, asked a boda boda guy how far the police station is, and he offered to take me there for UGX 1,000. It was like 2 minutes away. I get to the police station, tell the story, and after a bit of arguing among the officers on who should go (“I’m not in uniform”. “It doesn’t matter you can just take a gun” etc etc) the uniformed officer I was talking to asked me to get boda bodas to take us to the scene. So I go out and call 2 boda boda drivers, but then officer changes his mind and decides we are better off walking. We get there, they take the mama, and the wallets, and me, I proceed to the office, log onto face-book, only to find a Nairobi magistrate has lost his life to mob justice in a case of mistaken car identity.

Scared Kidogo: I was Rude to a 'Big Person'

2009-04-09T09:25:00.000+03:00

I'm not sure why the phones keep getting directed to my desk instead of the reception. So I've been having to run other errands like transferring the calls, giving messages etc, which has been a little annoying. I've stalked to the relevant people for some time now but it hasn't been fixed. So this morning the phone rings:
PKW: Yes?
Other: Eish, is that XYZ (the project manager)
PKW: No, it's PKW. Not sure why but the calls are coming here instead of other people's offices. Has been happening for some time
Other: Anti you people fix your phone
PKW: I don't work on phones
Other: But since it's your office...
PKW: I just don't like how I get distracted from my job all the time.
Other: Are you a staff of...? (It's a project with several partners, and at this point I figure out she is from the main partner)
PKW: No
Other: What's your name?
PKW: PKW
Other: And you work with which partner?
PKW: Let me tell XYZ to call you back, OK?
{I hang up}
Then tell XYZ to call his main office, realizing that I didn't even get the caller's name.
I'm now a little worried because I think it's the second highest office holder on XYZ's partner organization in UG. And knowing just how much 'Big People' are feared around here, hope I've not just made a big mess. I feel like not answering the phone for some time today.

MTN MobileMoney, Nakumatt Oasis na Kadhalika

2009-04-07T16:26:00.000+03:00

Mobile Money
MTN, the mobile network with the largest market share in Uganda started offering mobile money transfers modelled exactly like Safaricom's M-pesa a month or so ago.Called MTN MobileMoney-Go send Money Now Now-I like they used that Luganda-ish phrase-people often say now now, directly translated from kati kati-right away.
Just like M-Pesa may have made it difficult for some people to instantly switch to Zain despite the Vuka tarriff in Kenya, I think MTN MobileMoney will make people stick to MTN.
I'm an MTN Mteja, for the mere fact that it looked more popular than Zain, Warid, UTL, and Orange when I came in.Additionally, most of my contacts at home are on Safaricom and I'd only get local rates -UGX 2000/day (about one USD) when I'm calling Zain-Zain only. I only know 2 people on the orange network in Kenya, so didn't even check them out. Plus I can call Safaricom in Kenya from my Safaricom line for 10/= flat...Only thing I don't uderstand is how MTN discounts their MTN-MTN calls; it could be 0% discount one moment and jump to 60% once you're done talking.

Oh well, too bad multi-currency, cross-border mobile money transfer is still a dream. If Zain introduced Zap regionally, forget number importability, I think I'd move ASAP. Or if Yu in Kenya sold to MTN, as per one Kahenya, and the mobile money thing went cross-border.

Nakumatt Oasis
It's set to open on April 9th at (or is it next to?) Garden City, if all goes according to plan.Some major competition to Uchumi next door, no doubt. Garden city is where the life-style shopper goes.

Moving out, and on
I moved into a nicer apartment the last weekend of March. Not the one I'd talked about in some earlier post. I'll have to do a whole post on it. Bad thing is that my commute is longer. Matatus go to the New Taxi park, which gets real muddy when it rains. Was not planning on getting a car this year, we'll see how that goes as it gets wetter.

Easter Plans, Scenic Uganda, Triathlon
Had talked with Tumwijuke about a possible Murchinson Falls Park visit, but due to some 'complications', may end up at Bujagali Falls. Uganda is v. beautiful, and the people nicer than the Kenyans, I feel. I went rafting on the Nile on Valentines Day weekend, and participated at the Entebbe Triathlon a couple weeks ago by cheering on a couple colleagues that are more athletic than I. Gorilla viewing at Bwindi is too expensive-close to $500. Not willing to part with that much. But paycheck allowing, and God-willing I wish to see more of this beautiful country.

On Giving-to God and to People

2009-03-14T16:44:00.000+03:00

I’m worried I’ll become like ColdTusker whose blog is about Rants, Raves and Reviews but where I mostly find rants, or Andy who 'talks' a lot about the energy crisis.No offense meant guys, just that I find little uplifting, over there. But great debate there.

Today’s post is a rant. I’ve been thinking about giving a lot lately. Not thinking about giving a lot, but thinking a lot about giving. Today’s post was inspired by an incident I had. I’d promised a relative some Ksh. 50K to start a bizna as they look for a job. I’d come in to work today, a Saturday, coz I have kinda a lot on my desk, rushed to the bank like 3 minutes before the door was closed, got the money, but was stranded on how to send it as 1) M-Pesa failed me the last time I tried it, 2) Equity Bank is not yet accepting deposits bound for the Kenya side 3) I couldn’t find any Western Union/Money Gram that was open and 4) there’s no way I’m risking sending that amount of money disguised as a package on the bus. So I told the person to wait till Monday, which was likely to be very hectic anyway, but they were mad, told me to send the money whenever I can, and call them then, and then hang up on me. I tried to call them back but they wouldn’t pick up. So I sent them a text message saying it was a huge sacrifice on my part, really, and they don’t seem to understand or even appreciate that, so let’s just forget about the whole thing. I feel really sad that I’d to do that especially because they said they’d promised someone a deposit tomorrow. I really hate being taken for granted.
Back to giving: the 10% aka tithe that is advised by most churches. For the longest time, I followed that ‘law’ to the letter. When I chanced on some little money, I’d duly give 10% to my church. But over the past couple years I’ve become more critical. I recently revised the rule to 5% ‘God’ i.e. church, and 5% family and relatives. As we speak I haven’t given the 5% to the Church all of this year. Partly b/c I haven’t found one yet....lame excuse, I know.

On Giving to ‘God’: I’m putting ‘God’ in quotes juu I believe that I give to Him/Her even when I don’t give through church. I’ve become rather critical when giving to him through church. For instance, I have issues with pastors who exhibit nothing but lavish lifestyles, and whose main message is ‘give and it shall come back to you’, i.e. the prosperity gospel. By the way, that verse they love to quote has nothing to do with giving material goods, but rather judging others. As in, the measure you use to judge others is the same measure that will be used to judge you. I will never forget the day my cousin gave everything she had at a televangelist’s rally in at Afraha Stadium in Nakuru because she’d been told a miracle would take place, and had nothing for the kids that night. Also, I don’t like the way my church, the P.C.E.A., is run financially. At the highest level is the General Assembly, then the Presbyteries, the Parishes, and then the individual churches. There is no such thing as an independent church under the P.C.E.A., so most of the rules come from above. I feel rather uneasy about the fact that the General Assembly kinda decides how much each individual church has to give each year, so that there are the many ‘special Sundays’ for the different age-groups at Church; Sunday School in Dec, Youth in May, the Brigade sometime I don’t know when, the Women’s Guild in August, and then in the last few years, the Presbyterian Men’s Fellowship. Basically these are harambee days. My main beef with that is that most of the money raised goes to the General Assembly which decides what to do with it. But then again, the P.C.E.A. has some great projects like well-run schools and hospitals. I’m proud of that.

Giving to family, relatives and friends: This is complicated and ends up taking more than the 5%, because there are many, many needs and only so much to give. OK, so God blesses us so we can bless others. This is much easier to say and do when you’re on the receiving end. When I was away in the U.S., I’d send my family- I mean the extended one here- money quite often, but I didn’t feel they appreciated the amount of work that went into it. And I was often pissed by the fact that every person who chanced on my number almost always only wanted money. Like my primary school friend’s sister who I’d not seen for five years. And there’s that time I sent a lot of money only to call home just before going into my 4pm shift on a Saturday afternoon, and was told that people at home were having a huge reunion involving the kids of relatives some 3 generations ahead of me. I was jealous. That clearly wasn’t a need.

Anyway, it is neither easy nor right to say no when someone tells you that they have this or that major need. If anything, for the Christians, the Bible says that whoever does not provide for their family - and by family I mean the extended one, again-is worse than an unbeliever. Only that it’s not fair for them to not even tell you that they got the money, and only call you when they needs some more.

DREAM JOB 2.0

2009-02-18T15:55:00.000+03:00

It’s been more than two weeks since I signed on to my dream job, exactly as I described it on this day.

How feel I?

Extremely happy. In fact, my faith has been revived!

Lessons learned

-Network, network, network! Except for my first internship in the summer of 2006, every jig that I have thorough enjoyed and/or learned a lot from has been through a referral. Everything else has built on from there. The job that led to this opportunity was through a referral by a neighbor whose girls I’d babysit back in D.C. (do dishes, laundry,sweep floors, too-yeah, been there, done that), to whom I mentioned my search for a summer internship, who talked to her husband, who introduced me to a lady with whom he’d done a study in W. Africa before,who ended up employing me in the winter (found something else for the summer), whose colleague invited me to his room-mates going away party, where I met the Africa head of the organization where I’m now working with, who sent my C.V. across East Africa….
-Unpaid internships pay off, eventually. Hence babysitting, scrubbing floors, waiting tables while working that un-paid professional job
-Prayers work! Funny how one minute you can be so anxious, saying all sorts of things to God. Looking back He has answered most of the ones I prayed when I was as young as 10-like God help me go to University someday, get a great job etc. Note to self; start praying again, it’ll be interesting to give thanks 40 years from now.

Going back in time

I recently went to my undergraduate institution to get my certificate. I never attended the graduation ceremony and haven’t been there in years. Nothing much has changed, save for a few previously stalled buildings now complete. We had hoped to occupy them over the years we studied there. You still have to move from office to office to get papers rubber-stamped. I’d lost the clearance form I’d used back in the day and had to go look for a copy over at Finance. They gave me a box to sort through. Faculty of Education (it was ..and Human Resources but now it is…and Community Services, or something of the sort) showed me a room where to search for my file. I want to go to my old primary and secondary schools, and at the secondary school where I taught before changing cause.

Housing issue

For the first time ever, since moving here, I’ve stayed entirely by myself. Couldn’t stand my own company at first, T.V. was my best friend before I met a few peeps outside of work, but I’m now enjoying it. I’d always stayed with relatives and friends/room-mates. But for more than a year, one of them worked the night-shift and spent a lot of time with the boyfriend when she was off, so it was like we were living by ourselves in the same house at separate times of the day. I got a nice place here in K’la now, but I’m not staying there beyond April this year. The landlady was the only one who accepted 2 months worth of rent, the rest asking for even upto 6 months of rent in advance. UGX 250K/month, and yes, I’m complaining. Because she won’t give me the key to the main gate, and insists on locking it at 10:30pm, 10:55pm at the latest. Weekends included. Nyabo, I’ve come a long way from teenage years. Have got another place several gates down. Down-side; have to add UGX 50K/month. But bigger and better and can be shared with someone else if none of us gets on the other’s nerves.

Next Steps?

Planning on adding a CFA to my name after the Bsc and MBA in the next couple years. Mrs. before? Help me God.

On a Mission

2009-01-23T20:30:00.000+03:00

I have been on a mission to find a Church home where I can belong. I told a work colleague and he recommended the Kampala Pentecostal Church, which is located in downtown K’la. I went there twice and liked the service. I especially liked the second time; for some reason the preacher/sermon really spoke to me that day. But the place is humongous, and I felt like I could easily ‘get lost’, as in I worship there, but may not really get to know anyone, hata kama they have cells (sorta like a church within a church) where they meet occasionally. It seemed like a place where most young professionals in K’la attend church regularly, but the fact that I have always had a serious aversion to mega-churches didn’t help. They have at least 3 services a day, and the place is always packed, at least the services that I attended were. It's also kinda Westernized (the people are mostly Ugandan and the interior design Afrocentric, I've to say) and I felt like it may beat the point of being home?

So I went home for Christmas. At home I am Presbyterian. My mum gave a Presbyterian-‘branded’ diary which listed all the P.C.E.A. churches, and there happened to be a Uganda mission area in K’la, complete with the pastors Safaricom and MTN phone contacts. I gave him a call last Saturday, and he told me where to find them-one of the halls at Nakasero Primary School. Sunday fikad, and nikaenda Church. Very small group, which I liked, but everyone seemed to be from Central Kenya. The service was in English but kila time there was a testimony to be ‘removed’, it went something like, “am so-and-so Kariuki, Wanjiru ..”etc (names changed). That, I didn’t penda. Juu if I choose to be a member there, it’s like I’ve moved with my village church to K’la, and there’s no newness/adventure there. Even while I was away, I refused to join a ‘Kenyan’ Church. But the members at the P.C.E.A Uganda mission seem quite nice, welcoming and advising, too. The most interesting thing happened at the end of the service. There was this ‘Kamau’ jamaa who’d said in his testimony that he is graduating from Makerere University on Thursday. So one jamaa (an elder, I presume) asked him what he was planning to do in celebation, and ‘Kamau’ said that he was making a trip to Nyeri to celebrate with his grandmother. Hi, you’ve never seen a graduation arrangement taken over like that. The ‘elder’ said no, there is need to celebrate properly, and we are going to do it at the Golden Fish restaurant, and offered 3 kukus. Then proceeded to volunteer what others were going to bring (the pastor “wewe unaweza afford half a crate of sodas!”), and even appointed people for the graduation party committee. Others volunteered to buy several things like a goat, chapati, sodas, and within no time, plan ikaiva. Can’t tell how it went coz I was tied up at jobo. Such fun things, the spirit of community, make me want to go to such a Church. I guess I’ve to figure out some other way of connecting with the Kenyan community ‘abroad’.
Next, I am checking out the Presbyterian Church of Uganda as I saw an allusion to something like it in the papers(will have to ask s/one why they are not part of the Presbyterian Church of East Africa?), or the Anglican Church. If anything, I was confirmed at the Anglican Church (back when it was known as the Church of the Province of Kenya) next to our school as we were attending school in the neighbouring district where apparently the English missionaries had outdone their Church of Scotland counterparts. Sio shida if the Anglican Church’s services here are in Luganda . I think I’m learning quite fast-it’s v. similar to Swa, anyway- and that will indeed help. We’ll see.

HOUSE-HUNTING IN K’LA

2008-12-18T11:55:00.000+03:00

I have an informal employment offer in the works-nothing in writing yet. But I decided to look for a place to live in when the time to settle here comes. A colleague recommended a broker, whom I went out to see in Ntinda. Apparently real good. I go see the broker, broker says I give him UGX 20K (roughly Ksh 900) as some sort of fee. Seeing as it is that I am tired of living out of my suitcase in a hotel room for more than a month and a half, I duly give the 20K. We agree that once he gets a place that fits my description, I will give him an unspecified amount as ‘appreciation fees’. In my mind, that can’t exceed another UGX 20K. Sunday 14th Dec comes and I meet the broker, who is now with a colleague of his. We go around in my colleague’s car ( I fuel it), look at various houses, and I like two options. I promise to get back to broker by Friday, 19th Dec. That’ll give me time to see some other places with broker numero dos, who I’d also paid UGX 20K and we had an agreement to meet on Wednesday afternoon. Lakini before I leave, broker asks to add something small, Nyabo (ma’am)? I say, but we agreed on the 20K, and something more once I decide on the house? Broker says but now I came with him. Me I say, but that was not the agreement and I don’t know what agreement you had between the two of you blah blah blah. Broker says, now I’m begging, you can deduct from the other fee, but me I say no, that’s not what we agreed. So, me I refuse, but promise to get back to broker by Friday. By this time the colleague is pissed, as I am and I’m guessing broker did not quite say he had received something earlier.

Wednesday, I call other broker. Broker says to come at 5pm. Me I ask, with the K’la traffic jam as I know it at that hour, what can we possibly do at 5pm? Will probably take an hour to get to one estate, means we’ll be seeing the other houses at night? I tell broker, we agreed afternoon, 5pm is evening? Broker says evening is 6pm, and all this time I’ve been thinking afternoon starts after noon? Broker says good question, let me think about it, I’ll call you back. Broker doesn’t call back. 3pm, I go to broker’s office (at least this one has one, other one we met some place in the open). I tell him I’ve had a bad experience with another broker, I want my money back, will come back when I have enough time. After a while he gives it back, but then his cell-phone rings. Apparently there’s some place in Bukoto that meets my criteria. I get excited - Bukoto would be a v. nice place to stay at the range I am offering. So I have to give him back the 20K-I do. Broker tells me to go meet his agent (who I had actually met earlier at broker’s office) right away. Not that I know the areas that well. Well, I go and meet said agent at Kayunga road. Agent says he is working with yet another agent of theirs, so we wait. Other agent comes. Says I have to give 20K. Me I say, but I gave 20K at the office? Says he’s working independently, so I turn to former agent and ask you guys work how? I paid? Says there was a mistake. Calls broker in office, who says give other agent 10K and get it back at office. Other agent says it’s OK, I’ll show you the place, as long as I get a commission-eer, many landlords actually want 4-6 months worth of rent in advance. OK…. But other broker says we have to wait for a colleague of his. Colleague comes, turns out the place is quite different from what I’d described, and they’d described, and none of the agents had any idea. None had seen it. Other agent says he has yet another place right over theeere! So we go. Right over theeere! is not quite right over there. And, whoever has the key to the place had an accident, so is not around. Agent says we can look outside and then, what do you think? I say I haven’t seen it, so I can’t decide. I head straight to broker’s office, say everything looks very sketchy, I even feel like I may be being taken advantage of, can I get my money back, since I didn’t see any house? I get it back bila hustle. When this jobo comes through, it seems like I may have to do room-mate for a couple months. Or more?

As for right now, I am so looking forward to being home for Christmas after missing out three years in a row.

PROGRESS REPORT

2008-10-31T17:04:00.000+03:00

I was eager to go here, but then something else short-term opened up in my neighbourhood. My former mdosi was quite understanding juu we had agreed that due to budgetary constraints on her side that woulda seen me travel bila per diem allowances and get my lodging/housing covered only up to a point, I would be looking for something long-term at home. I’d have gone anyway, and used that experience in the ‘tell me an instance where you went above and beyond the call of duty at work’ interview question. And honestly, it was offering great experience. What I have now has potential to turn into a long running commitment. To be fair, I have offered to work for her (former mdosi) after-hours due to the time differential-seven, soon to be eight hours. We’ll see how that goes. But I’m very encouraged. Then there are the benefits of working close to home; seeing my family and friends often is priceless, I don’t have to freak out about the winter (the weather is near perfect all year round, I think), the people are wonderful, and the food? Wee wacha tu!

I just handed over my first weekly report. Goodbye Accra, hello Kampala.

East African Community

2008-10-03T15:10:00.000+03:00

Today I returned home from the longest bus ride of my life. I was on a bus containing mchanganyiko maalum of people from UG, TZ and KE, among others. The bus driver happened to stop somewhere ( I still can't bring myself to pee in public again-yet) and some people from UG took the longest time to come back, at what point the driver decided to leave. Lucky them, they were not alone and one of their friends managed to convince the driver to wait. In the meantime, friend number 2 called one of them on the cellphone and told them to 'don't even run, fly!' As friend no.1 got back to his seat after the bus finally stopped, he mumbled something to the effect that the driver was not doing right by leaving his buddies since 'they paid money' to get on the bus. This ticked off a Kenyan man, who argued that there's no reason he should be inconvenienced in his efforts to make money simply because some people had paid money to get on the bus. An argument ensued, and went out of topic when the Kenyan man referred to the Ugandan man as 'young man'. The 'young man' felt that the 'older man' was taking advantage of his age to speak down to him. Friend no.2 told friend no.1 to 'shut the fuck up!'. Those we had been waiting for came in at the heat of the moment, and a man from Singapore asked the late -not dead, just late-gent (not the ladies who were with him) to apologize for inconveniencing everyone, which he duly did and enjoyed a friendly conversation with Singaporean the rest of the way.
It then dawns on the bus driver that there are additional people who need to get onto the bus and get off at the next junction where they'll take the bus to Mwanza, TZ, but there may not be enough seats. He then embarks on a mission to convince us to 'squeeze' for them, sometimes using English, I believe, so as to appeal to non-Kenyans and non-Tanzanians. For the first time a Tanzanian lady speaks out. "Kama wanaenda Mwanza basi waTanzania tubambane". It turns out there are enough seats for everyone. Oh, well, karibu kwenye Jumuia ya Afrika Mashariki. Yesterday I heard that a recent poll revealed the reason most Tanzanians are so opposed to the EAC idea is that Kenyan men would steal their women.

Note to Rose from Kampala: There was a certain middle-aged looking mzungu man waiting for you outside the National Theatre at about 10:30 am on Thursday, 2nd October 2008. It'd be a good idea to describe yourself or what you'll be wearing next time you go on a similar date.

"You Look Beautiful, You are Fat!"

2008-09-25T20:26:00.000+03:00

Some of the things that people are telling me as complements are ridiculous, like how fat I've become, how short, and generally how I've changed. I gained at most 4kgs in the 3 years I was away, and I'm surprised it's so noticeable. My response, "yeah? thanks!" while thinking 'that's what happens when you spend most of your day indoors sitting in front of a computer'. And that's the kind of life I'm looking forward to here. Some of the comments border on the absurd, like how I now have a behind, have calves (? the back of my legs, as in 'riu ona wina tukere').

Halafu I think the American ego may have rubbed off on me kidogo. I think hukos the customer is spoiled while here it's not always the case. Like, you could buy stuff and return it up to 90 days baadaye lakini hapa, it's not necessarily the case. I was so pissed jana when the driver in the ma3 I rode in the morning turned around when he saw a tow truck (break-down). I think the ma3 was not fully insured. Leo, they told me '40 bob tao!' and gave me back 50 bob back after I handed them 100 bob. But the driver later gave me the ka-10 bob. Halafu coming from Gigiri, they said '20 bob Odeon!' only for them to say kuna karao huko mbele and decide everybody has to shuka. Me, I asked for 10 bob back, some others refused to shuka so they took us to Odeon.

Overall I'm happy to be home, seeing, family, relatives and friends. I'm especially glad that my niece who was 3 months young when is excited to have me around, and I can forge relationships with my nephew and others that were born while I was away. I'm also making new friends, and that, too it's exciting.
Of course I've disappointed some people coz I didn't bring them the latest gadgets, and had to expalin hata mimi I did not have most of them. Neither am I dropping dollars/shillings everywhere, if anywhere at all, since I have to preserve my reservoirs. It's hard work explaining the life in America as seen on T.V versus in real life. Of course there are questions about Obama and my answer has consistently been "Obama is the next President of the of America".

At Home with Self

2008-09-09T16:23:00.000+03:00

I got to Nairobi Sunday night. So far I'm liking it. Exept that on my first full day it rained sana and ma3s were scarce.
I haven't started tarmacking yet, in fact I go to my shags kesho to properly catch up with my folks.
I've met a college friend today and interesting to see how many people are trained as teachers but are going to different fields, yours truly included.
I haven't signed for internet at home yet, so I'll keep this short.

My $0.02 Take on Stato's Siasa

2008-09-05T06:54:00.000+03:00

I am no US political commentator or expert but I hate the way the GOP is using terrorism and war as a political weapon. McCain use of his Vietnam POW experience is getting tired with me. He apparently used the term 'fight' 25 times at his nomination acceptance speech, with little in the way of what he will do to solve America's current problems.The last part of the speech ended with something like 'stand up and fight! fight! fight!' to a very enthusiastic crowd. At one point it felt like I was watching the Olympics with 'USA! USA!' everywhere. Almost like its the dems vs USA. Obviously I favour Obama but I may be biased seeing as it is his father was Kenyan. Not that it matters. If I were American at this point in time, I would vote for Obama. Primarily because the economy is screwed up, things are so worse off than they were during the Clinton time and it so feels like he has a plan to make America strong.

But as a Kenyan, I'm all for someone who can ship them jobs to Kenya or any other developing country for that matter. Outsourcing, and democrats hate that.That, plus really free (and yes, fair too, too, it doesn't have to be either or) trade, would do more for development than more years of aid. It's always interesting to see what side of the political divide seems to really care about global povery and how they plan to deal with it. As part of the international community, I favour America drilling oil on her own land. Juu if the war in Iraq (assuming it was about oil, not wms) and conflicts in many other oil-producing countries is anything to go by, I think 'drill baby drill' combined with renewable energy would do more to end such conflicts than the current energy situation in America. Well, at least as far as Stato is concerned?

Can't end without one more rant-did they (have to) go all the way to Rwanda to get someone showcase Cindy's personal commitment to charity, or did they look for her here? I'd hate for my unfortunate calamity to be used like that.

Independent Consulting/Cheaper Short-Term Housing in Accra

2008-08-23T01:03:00.000+03:00

Some history is in order. 27 calendar days after hiyo siku, I signed a three month contract with an organization that does precisely what I had been looking for. A dream contract, if you may. Yes, prayers do get answered. I'd like to think they liked what I did after the three months juu they extended it for another five months till the last day of my OPT visa (allows you to legally work in the U.S. for a year after graduation). When the season came, I tried to persuade them to file for my H1-B (work) visa, even offering to pay for kila kitu including immigration lawyer fees. My immediate mdosi jaribud but word from huko mbele was that it's simply against the company policy. So I decided to do the jobo and have fun while at it. And fun it was. I loved the experience, met 'big' people, and even made a few important contacts for laters.

Sometimes before I left, ( my last day was a week ago) they floated the idea of sending me to Ghana to complete the final phase of the project. Bwana si I was excited. So the mpango right no is to get to Nai, work kiasi off-site, halafu go to Accra for like 2 months and then back nyumbani. Thing is, I am going as an independent consultant, that means sina benefits. Initially I thought it meant that I'm bila life and health insurance and the 401 (K) plan, but eventually as were talking it dawned on me that I'm gonna be meeting my housing expenses. Swali ni is this standard? If yes, anyone know of cheaper short-term living arrangement in Accra? Last time I was there, people talked of being required to pay a year's rent in advanced. If it turns out bad, shauri yako. I get to keep my daily U.S. rate lakini at the rates I saw for a decent hoteli two months ago, and with the Ghanaian cedi almost at par with the U.S. dollar, I would be giving way too much of my hard-earned $ to housing alone. I love the job, actually it has been my dream job, and I want to have been there a complete year. One way would be to work from Kenya till I absolutely have to be in Ghana. Help a woman out!

Thirty is the New Thirty

2008-08-07T15:44:00.000+03:00

I hit the big 3-0 this past Saturday. I can't quite remember how I felt a decade ago, so I can't say a thing about the 30 is the new 20 (age-escapism?) fad. I think that's one lie that's given people in their thirties an excuse to behave like they are in their early 20s.

Growing up, birthday celebrations were not a huge part of my life, until about 3 years ago when I came to the U.S. I have pictures from my first birthday celebrations, then life happened and that was about it as far as celebrations and associated records were concerned. Mum would occasionally make chapos to mark a birthday for one of us, i.e me, my siblings and youngest uncle who is two years older than me. Sometimes slaughter a chicken but other than that, no deliberately planned parties. Friends of mine celebrated my 23rd, then the 28th and the 29th when we hooked up later over here. The 30th goes without saying. Looking back, it looks like the past 30 were exciting. It sort of feels like I've lived several lifetimes (may be an exaggeration, but that's how I feel), from growing up in shags, going to boarding school, colle, stato and now excited about soon becoming a manzi/masa wa Nairobi. I even remember when death was such a big deal in my shags, then AIDS became common place and it was like "So and so died" "O, really? OK". People even started eating at funerals.

I looked for signs of aging on Sato. Other than one white hair that seemed to disappear as soon as I'd spotted it, I think I'm fwine. Looking forward to what the next 30 will bring. Baby siz's b/day is this week. Bro apparently came early and was born late July. May have some positive correlation with the fun of December. I thought of mentioning that to the concerned but we are old school.

Anxious

2008-06-21T10:57:00.002+03:00

If I had a Bible handy, I'd look for the place JC tells me not to freak out about anything but let God know about it instead.
It's less anxiety and more like overwhelming excitement at seeing the possibilities vis a vis where things are, and worrying about finding my rightful and fulfilling space in it all.
Kenya is where my heart is, I'm just not sure why the 'decision' to go back feels like such gambling with my life. The worrying is getting out of control and getting me worried about it. Tons of the energy is going there instead of into what I should be doing to straighten things out.

We'll see.

That GEMA 'Leaders' Get-Together is Not Sawa

2008-06-01T08:08:00.000+03:00

OK, OK! One more political rant and I promise myself to be (almost?) done with politicians and the stuff they do for a living. It was with great disgust that I learned that the GEMA community 'leaders' recently got together to discuss 'our' political future. We aren't even done mourning those who died, nay, were brutally murdered during the tribally charged post-election violence, or tried the perpetrators, and these people are already at it, including (former) Church leaders?

Much as I respect people's freedom to associate with whomever they choose, I think in this context it does our country more harm than good. I long for that day when we shall be united and divided by our ideologies and opinions as Kenyans, not loyalty to our tribes. I understand it's gonna be a while before we totally divorce ourselves from our history, but my humble opinion is that tribal alliances for political mileage should be disbanded kabisa. As in illegalized. Down to making tribal chiefdoms illegal political tools. Yaani if you are a tribal chief, be one huko kijijini but do not represent your tribe politically huko mbele. The business of tribes voting as blocs stinks and should be done away with. This does not apply to GEMA pekee, as we all know. Remember the way we were mostly in agreement that there should be no special Muslim interests in a political party, or in the constitution? How about making these leaders ashamed of the tribal interests they represent? Where are the Christians that took to the streets then?

Full Disclosure: I'm still proudly Kikuyu, probably will always be. There is precious little I can do about that- just don't ask me to vote as GEMA, or Kikuyu. We are a country of 42 or so micro-nations with diverse backgrounds but we can peacefully, happily and proudly co-exist as one. It can be done people. But most certainly, not by killing all Kikuyus :-)

Disclaimer: This piece shall not be taken as proof of defection or an endorsement of 'other' politicians. My political perspective, if ever I had one, still holds.

Random Thoughts on Beauty

2008-05-22T03:31:00.000+03:00

I do wear hair extensions once in a while. Sometimes someone will comment on how good my hair looks and I'll say "Thanks, I bought it at the beauty store across the street". But juzi someone at work told me about a documentary that was made recently about 100% Indian hair. I think it's usually very expensive to wear that 100% human hair. Apparently, the Hindu women whose hair is sold normally shave it as a form of religious devotion, halafu the monks sell it to Hollywood and the rest of the beauty industry. Ati asked if they would sell their hair, the women said hapana, and would not cut it if they knew it ends up in the beauty industry. I've never worn any human hair, but that thing is giving me a complex. I think the hair dye (most prefer to call it highlighter, as in it's not meant to cover up greying hair, but to highlight natural hair colour) industry is huge for white women, but I have no idea where their 100% human hair extensions come from. How come most of the beauty stores are owned by Asians. Maybe the answer is globalization.

Nature-we need to be proud of our natural/native looks right? I love that, it's all good. But as far as hair goes, it's not as easy for me. My natural hair is kiasi hard to keep neat, leaving me with the option to wear braids, cornrows, or dreadlocks to have a semblance of nature. Or go bald. Braids and cornrows are a bit expensive to keep up with. Dreadlocks? I hear it costs like $3 a month to keep those neat, but I don't want to lock myself in one look till I cut my hair. I don't have the shape of head that'd look cool when bald either. So I alternate between braids, cornrows and chemically straightened hair. Not the most authentic African hair, for all my pride.
Make-up. It's meant to enhance the beauty one already has? I've never seen a black woman blush, why do black women wear blush?

Hair and scalp lotion, face lotion, lip balm, hand and body lotion, moisturizer, and whatever for the feet-Ifound a product that rolls all these into one-shea butter. The Burkinabe (if that's what we call people from Burkina Faso) woman who sold it to me claimed to be 55 but looked like 35 so it must work. So far it's working for me.

Weight-now that. Funny thing to note that men in Kenya (at least where I come from and especially my cousins) prefer(ed?) larger women, but huku hivi every woman is trying to shed weight.

African models-they are very beautiful. I wonder if Alek Wek would still be beautiful if she was not 'discovered' in London. Say, by African standards. Better still, I wonder what are or were the African standards of beauty.

$1 Per Citizen, or One $100 Laptop Per Child

2008-04-06T16:47:00.000+03:00

I hadn't put the governments salaries dollar terms, but saw the light when I did. The long and the short of it is that it amounts to about$30m (as in thirty million US of A dollars!) a year for a cabinet of 40 Kenyan ministers . I'm not sure that includes the P and the PM salaries. For a country of about 30 million people, that's like each Kenyan citizen is coughing up $1 a year to pay the cabinet. Or better still, for the the salaries of the 40 thieves, each Kenyan could be earning $1 a year. If we can afford this, surely why would we even need donations for 1 ($100) laptop per child? Not that Kenya is on the list of countries interested in it. Maybe that just doesn't fall within any 'steak ministry' .

Talking of which I finally saw it much debated about gadget. Its criticism notwithstanding, I thought it is a REALLY cool gadget, one that can get kids easily initiated into the computer culture and getting creative with it. Got me wondering what Kenyans in the Diaspora would think of if someone suggested that they get interested and donate the dollars, and in return decide where the laptop goes, like your village or former school? Lets not kid ourselves, we are so far behind the 'information age' curve that we need to do all we can to even feel like we will catch up some day.

Buy Safaricom, Build Kenya

2008-03-28T06:46:00.001+03:00

Here is my opinion about this Safaricom IPO (of course I have one, don’t I?) thing; if you have some money when the bell rings for the Safaricom shares today, buy. I would if I could. In most places, investment decisions are driven by fear and greed, but only in Kenya Kenya, by politicians’ whims. I feel like I’ve been preaching to stones but I will never tire of telling us to stop being held hostage by politicians every time Kibaki doesn’t budge. It’s been the norm for ODM to threaten the Kenyan government with mass protests every time the ODM side did not get what they wanted. Not that ODM goes to the mass protests. Last time I checked it was the ‘meat’, not ‘bones’ ministries that they wanted. And there seems to be no better means of getting them than asking you not to go to work (if you have a job, isn’t it sad?) but go protest on the streets. I want to ask you ODManiacs, what’s in it (protests, or boycotting the IPO) for you?

Let me tell you why I think you should invest in Safaricom and telecommunication in general-it’s not only growing at the speed of light (OK, that is an exaggeration) , but the innovations in place are making even the developed countries gawk. Do you know that mobile banking is a relatively new concept hukos? Less than 10 years ago, very few - and only rich- Kenyans could afford landline phones. In 2008, many, even the poor, have cell phones. That is development, no pun intended. Safaricom came in as only the second national operator and was able to sign in multiples of what Celtel had in a matter of months. As I write this, they are probably in their 8^th prefix in the 8 or so years that they have been in operation. Their profits have been astronomical. Isitoshe, they have transferred billions of shillings to millions of Kenyans whom the banks could not profitably reach in their now 1-year old M-Pesa product. And you tell me I can’t own part of that growth if I could? Dream on.

Second reason; it’s your country, own as much of it as you can. Kenya ni yetu, au sio? Kwanza if you have shares, you have a say. If you had the chance would your rather; vote, or whine?

To the rumour mongers: No in my opinion, Safaricom never made any undue profits. They had the ‘second mover advantage’ that enabled them to learn what the then Kencel had not done right, and hit the ground running. While I’m proud of Kencel’s successor, Celtel as the baby of our very own Mo Ibrahim, they seem to think that Africa is one big market with no individual countries that are very particular (“Hello Africa! Tell me how you’re doing!” Sounds familiar?) in what they need. If my memory serves me right, Safaricom was the first to introduce the 100 bob credit that needed no scratch card. Safcom recently introduced a 20 bob credit that is within reach for most of its customers. Now that gets more people switching to Safaricom, increasing revenue, and yes - making profit. Add to that our peculiar calling habits, and again M-Pesa.

So if you have some money, buy! If you have some but would rather go mass- protesting because someone thinks for you, well, honestly dear, I’d rather you just shut up and drink the kool-aid. But if you miraculously survive and, a few years down the line someone fails to be P, VP, PM, DPM, M or AM of some ‘meat ministry’ and you end up feeling a strong urge to burn Safaricom House or Telekom House because they are ‘owned by Kikuyus’, ask yourself who prevented you from owning it, then go burn his house.

The Road in Flamingo

2008-03-18T05:22:00.000+03:00

I just kumbukad this kashairi I wrote and submitted while chasing a scholarship in Dec 2006. I didn't have pesa za kuishia L.A to see if I'd be nominated for the USD 10K . Then the jamaas sent me emails mob sana trying to make me subscribe to a poetry newsletter or something. My goal was to get some money, not spend the little that I had. My shairi has a new meaning now. Its kiasi long but I hope you enjoy life in my neighbourhood in Naikuru. I doubt much has changed, except I miss my ex-boyfriend, in a weird sense.

THE ROAD IN FLAMINGO

The road in Flamingo is busier

than a hive in the morning,

Adhiambo can't cook enough mandazi

by the gutter to feed the Flamingo population,

Mburu's grandmother has to get to the market

before the sun rises and withers the Sukuma Wiki from Dundori,

Soni runs to buy milk at Sugunoi Dairy,

the only place with unadulterated milk in town,

thanks to the kind Kalenjin,

Atieno needs to get to Pangani before James goes to work,

Or, someone else will do his laundry

Mama Karuga holds her three-year-old Stevo by the hand,

and rushes along lest he misses his Math and writing classes,

And Mathenge better run to School,

if only to avoid the angry master-on-duty's cane.

By noon, Mama Nguo has already

made her rounds in Flamingo,

and sold her imported mitumba clothes on credit

Tomorrow she will collect the

cash from last week's sales

The man from Dundori has sold

one sack of potatoes on his bike

Nyaloka has sold all her omena

fish to her fellow Luos and Luhyas

Tony and Nini finished unloading the Coca Cola Truck

And Kariuki Wakiraini has sold his usual portion of sugar

and yeast to the chan'gaa brewers.

At sunset Teacher Wangu

finishes her after-school Math

and English language tuition to three-year-olds

Wangui braids her last customer’s hair

Wambui tips her fellow brewers about the

young police officers pausing as chang’aa customers,

as if she doesn’t know who drinks at whose house

Chali brings his grandmother’s goats home.

And Kimondo picks out new people

who might have cell phones worth some cash

Mothers sit at their doorsteps

cutting Sukuma Wiki to eat with Ugali,

Chatting with their neighbours across the open sewer

Fathers come home from the new mjengo construction job

Boys go to buy maize flour at Kariuki Wakiraini's

Girls light the charcoal jikos

And Kamau Wetu is already drunk enough

to give his daily political speech on the

deplorable standards of living in Flamingo

“Siasa mbaya, maisha mabaya”.

The road in Flamingo is full of mangoes in January

Pears in April

Guavas in August

Red plums in December

And every day,

The road in Flamingo is full of mourners,

boys running around with no pants on, and drunk men.

What Do We Want?

2008-03-17T07:36:00.000+03:00

Well, now that the deal was signed-did both sides sign the same deal, ama one side did not read the deal, au one side amended the deal after it was signed? Whatever the case, good things must have happened for MK and RAO to be so cozy they are referring to each other as President and PM-designate. Works for me. At least it stopped the blood-letting spree to a large degree.

Sasa the part I don’t get is; why are folks so disappointed? As in would it be better if RAO and MK never talked to each other? I think it’s better for these guys to be calling each other those sweet things if it’s the only thing that can make people live peacefully. Yaani kama hatuwezi jifikiria si we just let them dictate how we behave? Ndio sielewi why people are feeling betrayed, coz the option of not feeling that way is the ‘bravery’ of RAO or MK as manifested by not engaging in discussion, and we know where that took us.

Another thought, the one I tried to put across in my last post; it’d be a great idea if we stopped looking up to politicians for our well-being. That way, you don’t get disappointed. I’m not saying don’t demand what is due to you, but nafikira to expect that things will be suddenly better because so and so is Councilor, Mayor, MP, DPM, PM or P (no hii serikali imekuwa tu kubwa sana) is to expect too much. I know that’s pretty hard in a country like ours where the majority are poor and politics is one way of getting out of poverty, but I’m convinced beyond any shadow of a doubt that only a negligible number of politicians are in it because they care (for us). In one sense they are hustling just like us, you know? Only that the payoff is much greater. Like if you make it to bunge, consider yourself officially out of poverty. But they are kiasi too selfish given the reality of every-day life for most Kenyans. I read somewhere that they amuad to give themselves a huge lump-sum once one’s term is over, plus monthly ‘allowances’ to the tune of close to half a million bob. We! That’s the kind of thing they never argue about in the August house. The kind you and I never hear about until imeshapitishwa. Well unless it’s for only one of them as was the case with an increase for MK and Rucy. In that case, they make a lot of noise. I don’t elewa, why do we turn a blind eye to this? If equitable distribution of resources should start anywhere, that place is parliament. Hakuna vile they deserve that kind of money from the mwananchi wa kawaida’s taxes when mwananchi wa kawaida is stretching kindu 70 bob to get through the day. So bado sijaelewa why we deify these people. Even if we end up with the many posts suggested in the deal, lets put power in institutions and the various posts, not the individuals.

Kazi iendele....iendelee. AU ia....ianze. Whatever you think, you're spot on.

LET THE GOOD FIGHT BEGIN. KAZI -BUT DO I SAY, NGUMU SANA - IANZE

2008-03-01T21:47:00.000+03:00

Finally brethren -or is this just a start?-looks like our prayers are answered. We seem headed out of this nightmare of an election fiasco gone bloody. I was very worried a few weeks ago when Raila and Kibaki shook hands, maybe even smiled, in the full glare of local and international media cameras; only for fighting to break out afresh and claim more lives in the days that followed. I have heard that in most cases during the healing process, things initially get worse before they get better. It’s my hope that with the deal to ‘share power’ (must admit I’m not very clear whatever that means) signed and the promise of a truth and reconciliation committee, things can only get better. That even though the scars shall remain in our identity as a nation, they will serve to remind us that indeed we did get wounded, but are truly healed. That we shall one day look back and say kweli waKenya tumetoka mbali.

Now the hard part begins. Sababu for many people, 1,000+ and 600,000+ are not just numbers. It’s a son, a daughter, husband, wife, name them, colleague, relative or friend, even neighbour who was and is no more. At least not in the physical, if only to be positive. People’s lives are permanently changed. I am skeptical of the power of any power-sharing deal between ODM and PNU to ease their pain. Most people have to learn to love and trust again.
My lesson learned? Call me a pessimist, but I think there is us, and then there is them. Them-wenye nchi wa kawaida, birds of a father that flock to gather at whatever cost, and us-wananchi wa kawaida, the birds of a feather flocking together. I’m trying hard to be in a deal-was-signed mood, but its not easy to ignore the fact that while wananchi were butchering each other in the city and on the countryside, our ‘leaders’ had probably flown their families out of the country, and are probably eating and drinking together now, probably doing more deals than will see the light of the press.

On a positive note, I will never forget that day when I came back after chasing my HELB money, only to find chaos on campus after a student strike. When I lost my one and only bag with my most precious earthly belongings and my buddy traced me and delivered it intact, it didn’t matter that I was Kikuyu and he Luo.
Its time we wananchi wa kawaida got our act together. Wanasiasa now have the best forum to fight it out with constructive ideas and debate.
Let the good fight begin, and kazi ngumu sana ianze!

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN!

2008-01-14T02:58:00.001+03:00

Amid the finger pointing, accusations and counter accusations between the top dogs on Kenya’s political scene, I dare say; at times it hurts to be Kikuyu. I can’t say I had not been warned. A colleague over here, I mean here in America, told me before the elections that if he were Kikuyu and owned any land in the Rift Valley, he would sell it before the elections-that at a time when I thought it would be best to invest in Kenya because of the strong positive message that a democratic election would send to the markets. It’s still credible to me that the ethnic cleansing was not a random act of violence by ‘wananchi’ against Kikuyus, but premeditated mass murder.

Thankfully, this only happens to those Kikuyus who settled in the ‘wrong’ places in Kenya. Well, until they come ‘back home’ to Central province. As I write this, my mother has to repeat something that my other relatives did in 1992 and 1997-welcoming some of our relatives from Burnt Forest who, as per our conversation on the phone yesterday, have been through the kunyarirwo (devastation, total destruction) yet again. But they seemed happy to be alive and have thayu (you really have peace? I almost asked). It’s very stressful just to think about. It is expected that the kids will join some schools somewhere since theirs have been burned to the ground. I don’t know how long it’ll take them to go back this time-I am hopeful that they will. And that is the Kenya I am going back to in August. Right now it is so tempting to remain here bila makaratasi so I can continue sending home a hundred bucks, a hundred and fifty on a good weekend, once in a while. Not that I’m planning to.

What I am yet to understand is why ‘we’ deserve this kind of treatment from ‘wananchi’ every five years since 1992 (except in 2002, but I’ll come back to that). One of the arguments floating around is that since 1963, Kikuyus have enjoyed socio-economic privileges that do not exist for other tribes in Kenya. There must be two types of Kikuyus. And I, and all the Kikuyus in my entire extended family, the two villages I’ve lived in, and all my Kikuyu friends must belong to the unprivileged type. Or maybe I just move in the wrong circles. But still, no one will stop to think about this if a politician thinks otherwise.

Land: In my opinion, that’s the main issue. Kikuyu people traditionally feel strong attachments to land. It’s almost spiritual, and in some cases it is spiritual. Would tribal clashes be over if Kikuyus didn’t venture outside Central? Central Kenya is only so big and its carrying capacity can only accommodate so many farmers. Those who could moved to other regions, including and especially the Rift Valley. I’m not aware of restrictions against people settling and owning land wherever they so wish in Kenya, if it is done in a just manner. Buying land outside your ancestral home is fair and just. I don’t know how many Kikuyus own land in Kibera and Mathare slums, though, where the violence started. It was poor people killing poor people simply because they come from the adui wetu tribe, as per some leaders. So, land is only part of the problem. My brother will definitely have to move his small business to a more Kikuyu-friendly area. Poor guy, he hasn't been at it for weeks. He looks too much like a Kikuyu to even think about going back to those joints!

Business: The selective memory again- Kikuyus don’t dominate business in Kenya, Indians, and now foreign investors do. Still this is no reason to burn down whole businesses and burn Kikuyus’ homes.

Government: This is where Kibaki made a major goof especially after the referendum. At one point a fellow teacher commented that the cabinet ministers’ list read like a graduation list. But, guys, cabinet posts don’t go to Kikuyus, they go to Kibaki’s cronies. And it really sucks that you all see GEMA as Kikuyu when it’s the only convenient way to see things. AND, we had one undisputed 5-year‘Kikuyu presidency’ between when I came to earth and when we had Kibaki as president. Compared to Moi’s 24-years, why does the bitterness in 2007/2008 feel like it has been brewing for ages, why?? Pre-NARC, I had never heard, “Kalenjin ni adui yetu” or any reference to “Kalenjins have led for a long enough time”.

Someone argues that even if Raila and Kibaki made up in public, the hate crimes wouldn’t go away? I beg to differ. Because the ghost of tribal clashes did not visit in 2002 when Raila said "Kibaki Tosha" and Moi and Uhuru were an item. Kenyans love peace, but only at the politicians call. Therefore:

1) We Kenyans must learn to think for ourselves and not see things only through the politicians’ lenses.
2) Politicians need to use their influence for the good of Kenya, not just to get themselves in office.
3) Should we redefine the concept of democracy? So that it's not just pure numbers that determine who wins? Because as long as there is a numerical tribal majority -call it Kikuyu /GEMA or whatever-in a country where tribes vote as blocs for ‘one of our own’, __________fill in the blanks.
4) We clearly need institutions in place that ensure that its not a winner-takes all situation.

MY PRIDE IS ALL I HAVE

2007-11-22T07:48:00.000+03:00

Its about time I made my maiden post.
Contrary to popular belief, I am neither a man, nor the 'iron lady' that some have loved to see. I would describe myself as a down-to-earth kind of person. More down than to-earth at this moment in time.Let me explain;

I came to the U.S. slightly more than two years ago.Not to chase the American dream (I would be thrilled to catch it, nevertheless) but in the belief that I would be better armed to fight Kenya's and/or part of Africa's battle against poverty. I had been admitted to a Business School that was ranked among the top 50 in the U.S. at the time I was doing my research. Two years, three months, several internships and an MBA down the line, I still haven't found my dream position in international development consulting. I am made to understand that it is a difficult area to break into especially in the city I'm living in, with all the great schools producing experts in international development. Its unbelievable how educated people are around here
The biggest complication is that I am not a U.S. citizen, so I need H1B (work)visa sponsorship so as to be able to work here legally past some time in '08. As it turns out, I would have to possess exceptional skills that are rare to find in people who have no visa issues in order to get past an entry level position. For an entry level position in the organizations I have my eyes on, there are more than enough candidates with the kind of skills and experience that are needed to get in. I want to tell anyone who cares that I have close to thirty years of first hand experience in poverty in 'Africa', and now I have the necessary skills to fight it. I am waiting for the first offer to go back to Kenya/Africa and work for your organization on a local salary and on your own terms. Any takers?

In the mean time, I am doing non-professional work to get the $$. It actually has potential to lead to something big(ger), only not in my career of choice, and not for a few more months. One of the things I love about this country is that due to the great health of the economy- even with the housing market cooling off, its still the best economy in the world-you can almost be guaranteed to make a living. I have been evaluating my options:

#1: Obviously I can pack up any time and go back to Kenya when my OPT visa expires. But what are the chances that I will get my dream professional job? How will I get by while 'tarmacking'?

Option no.2: My friends, some of them 'undocumented' are advising is me to sort everything out by falling in love. I'm too proud to hand my freedom (and $$) to someone just like that. To which they answer: wewe kaa tu hapo na hiyo pride yako.

Option 3: Just stay bila makaratasi. But men, don't I hate the attitude illegals generate around here.I don't even want to imagine being one of 'them'. To which they ask: Unataka kukaa hapa na job bila makaratasi, au kwenda nyumbani ukakae bila job?

Option 4: Join the military. I'm actually told that U.S. citizenship is no longer a requirement they will sort it out for me. But...................ai??

Option 5: Nursing. I would be assured of a job as a nurse's aide even before I start going to school. After school my papers would be sorted out and I would be legally employed especially to take care of the baby boomers. Swali ni; yaani nimekuja mbali hivyo just to fulfil some gender-based stereotypical job of a caretaker? The pride, stupid!
Sub-Option no 5: I can get a bachelors or masters degree in nursing and combine it with my MBA, get practical experience here bila wasi wasi and return home to manage some health-care facility. I think I just had my light-bulb moment.